[2003.07.04 2351h]

so it's the fourth of july today.  independence day for the united
states of america.  most people in the states celebrate this day by
watching fireworks.

and yet, this year, i don't think i'll be doing that.  right now, i feel
as if i am too busy to blow off a few hours to watch fireworks.  and yet,
i have this nagging feeling that i should, and that somehow, i am missing
out on making some fond memories that i can look back on and smile at
later on in my life.

i believe i can remember what i did for the fourth of july since 1995.
that was the first year i went to a summer camp.  specifically, it was a
math camp at imsa, the illinois math and science academy.  although
honestly, i can't remember for sure whether or not the following memory is
of the fourth of july, or of some date close to it, i remember that fourth
of july fireworks were a part of it, so it will suffice as my fourth of
july memory from 1995.

so imsa had this curfew where everyone had to be inside the dorms at some
insanely early hour.  i can't remember for sure, but i think it was either
at 2000h or 2100h.  this curfew was actually enforced by security guards
that would wander the campus.  most of us found this curfew rather unjust,
and so, in order to see the fourth of july fireworks that year, a small
group of us snuck out and climbed onto the roof of one of the buildings,
where we hoping we might be able to see some form of fireworks somewhere
at some point.

as it turns out, we were right.  every so often, we would see a few
fireworks coming from some direction, and all of us would stare out and
look at the tiny explosions in awe.

but what i remember most about that day was the adrenaline rush we would
get from trying to avoid the glances of the security guards.  in fact, my
heart is racing right now just thinking about it.  there were also
security cameras around, including one that was located around the parking
lot.  so we would run around and crouch down as needed to avoid being
detected.

once we figured that all the fireworks had ended, we tried to get off the
roof and get back to the dorms undetected.  from what i remember, the way
we got off the roof was by running down this really sloped platform on the
side of the building onto a grassy hill.  somehow, we eventually started
doing somersaults on the hill, and at some point during this crazy
somersaulting, i realized that i had lost my room key.

my friends were trying to help me find my key in the grass when a guard
came up to us and asked us what we were doing.  we explained to the guard
that i had lost my key, and that my friends were trying to help me find
it.  alas, even with the guard's help, my key remained unfound, and
eventually we returned to the dorm, surprisingly, without punishment for
being out past curfew.  i think i had to pay a lost key fee at the end of
camp, but i think it was only $10, so it really wasn't that bad.

if any of the coaches from that math camp or if any of the security guards
happen to stumble across this page, i wonder what they would think.  to
the guard who tried to help me find my key, i thank you for your help, and
am grateful that you never reprimanded us for being out past curfew.

i suppose, after recalling this memory, the fourth of july memories from
all the other years somewhat pale in comparison.

in 1996, i was in southern california with my nuclear family, watching the
fireworks in some parking lot.  it was a nice day to be watching
fireworks, and one of my favorite memories of travelling with family.

in 1997, i was in boston, and watched the fireworks from the esplanade
next to the charles river along with other harvard summer school students,
to the accompaniment of the boston pops orchestra.  we were all lying down
on some blanket on the ground, staring up at the sky.  the fireworks shot
out from a boat on the river.  actually, perhaps there was more than one
boat.  i can't remember anymore.  anyway, it looked pretty cool.

in 1998, i was in oakland, at jack london square, watching the fireworks
along with other berkeley summer school students.  for some reason, i
remember playing some card game as we were waiting for the fireworks to
start.  almost exactly four years later, as i was biking to berkeley, i
took a detour to jack london square, and stood at that same place we were
that night.  that felt pretty nostalgic.  in fact, i'm feeling a lot of
nostalgia just writing this diary entry.

in 1999, i was in houghton, michigan, watching the fireworks along with
other students in my math research group.  it was a cool day, and we stood
near the beautiful lift bridge on the portage canal.

in 2000, i was in sapporo, japan, performing in a taiko concert for the us
consulate general in sapporo.  i suppose this specific fourth of july
memory may not strictly lie on the fourth of july in the states, but i
can't really remember what i did when it was the fourth of july in the
states.  i believe, however, that on the fourth of july in the states,
most of the rest of my taiko group were flying back to the states, while i
was frantically trying to find a ticket from osaka to tokyo.  surprisingly,
i was able to get one for around $100 due to some random events, including
the unfortunate mutilation of a group picture.  but i digress.

as since my birthday is the day before the fourth of july, it was my
birthday in the states when we performed.  in fact, my mom wished me a
happy birthday right before the concert, so this particular memory is both
of my 20th birthday and of the fourth of july.  incidentally, in japan,
the 20th birthday is celebrated as a coming of age day, so i suppose this
day happened to be a conglomeration of various events in my life.

of course, no organization in japan was about to light fireworks that day
to celebrate america's independence day, so i didn't see fireworks that
year.  however, one of the songs we performed at the concert was named
"hanabi", which is fireworks in japanese, so that is about the closest i
got to seeing fireworks that year.

while waving big sticks around and hitting them loudly on large barrel
sized drums, one is likely to injure oneself at some point, and indeed, i
had injured my hand by the end of the performance.  if i remember
correctly, i had accidentally hit my thumb, but it may have been one of
the other fingers.

interestingly, i was pretty lucky not to have injured any of my fingers by
hitting them while playing taiko during the rest of the year.  
incidentally, that was my last public taiko performance, so one of my
fellow performers congratulated me on having finally going through that
rite of passage on my last performance.

after the performance, some of us noticed the huge amount of food that
remained uneaten, so some of the organizing staff welcomed us to eat as
much as we possibly could as fast as possible, because it would have to be
thrown away in a very short time.  we couldn't believe it.  we feasted
like royalty.  i happen to love japanese food too, so i was in food heaven.

in 2001, i remember gathering a group of my friends at the last minute,
going up some hill in the bay area, and looking at various fireworks shows
as they occurred.  i don't exactly remember why anymore, but i just
remembered that it was really fun, and that i am very grateful for having
friends that are willing to go do something with me at the last minute.

in 2002, i travelled from berkeley to san francisco to watch the fireworks
show on the bay with some people from my stanford dorm, crothers memorial
hall.  usually, on my birthday, i either try to do something i've never
done before or i spend some time trying to catch up with old friends that
i haven't communicated with for a while, and that year, i had decided to
bike from stanford to berkeley.  unfortunately, i had forgotten to put on
some form of sunscreen for the trip, so i got very tan.  in fact, after a
year, i'm still quite tanned from that trip.

note that although the bay bridge links san francisco to the east bay,
where berkeley lies, bikers are not allowed to bike over the bay bridge,
so i took bart to get to san francisco.  for those of you who don't know,
bart stands for bay area rapid transit, and is the local subway system.

i eventually met up with my dormmates at ghirardelli square at the north
end of san francisco, at a somewhat fancy restaurant.  i probably looked
like quite a sight, with my severely sunburnt appearance and the rather
casual attire i had on.

after dinner, we walked around the city, where, among other interesting
street acts, we saw who i believe is commonly called the bushman.  the
bushman lies in wait on a sidewalk, holding some branches up in front of
him so that to the inattentive passerby, it simply looks like there's a
bush planted on the sidewalk.  then, when an unsuspecting person walks by,
the bushman parts the branches and scares the crap out of the passerby,
and the crowd that has inevitably gathered around the bushman to see the
poor passersby laughs.

later on in the day, we gathered on the waterfront and watched the
fireworks go off above san francisco bay.  it was around that time when i
realized that everyone else from my group was actually a foreigner, and so
it was the first time for most of them to have ever celebrated a fourth of
july.

after the fireworks show, i decided to race with the rest of the group,
who had come here by van, to see who could get back to the dorm first.
i remember, as i was biking back, i could easily weave through the huge
amount of traffic and sped past the crowds of pedestrians on the sidewalk.  
as i was weaving through traffic, i happened upon this other biker who was
rather aggressive and kept on shouting some phrase repeatedly that i
couldn't make out.  but apparently, people made way for him, so i simply
followed him, and as a result, was able to get to the caltrain station
very quickly.

i remember that, since the aggressive biker easily got the attention of
the crowds, i decided to see what would happen if i started making
spirited cheers, similar to the crazy cheering i used to do when i was a
class mascot at my high school.  with the buzz of energy that came along
from just having watched a fireworks show, the crowd happily followed my
lead.  it was awesome.

wow, looking back, although it was such a simple thing, i just felt like i
was at the top of the world at the time, speeding through traffic in san
francisco at night on my bike, leading big crowds into cheers.

anyhow, once i got to the caltrain station, i had to wait for an hour or
so for the train to fill up before it left, so i thought that the others
on the van had won the race for sure.  as it turns out, the van was stuck
in a traffic jam on the highway, due to some accident if i remember
correctly.  so they ended up arriving back at the dorm about the same time
as i did.  i'm not sure who ended up arriving first, because we all went
to bed soon after arriving back at the dorm, thinking that the other party
had surely won.

alas, as i end this entry, i realize that even though i didn't go out and
watch fireworks with friends or family today, i blew off a significant
chunk of time reminiscing for this diary entry anyway.  i heard a few
fireworks go off as i was writing, but by the time i went outside to look,
i couldn't see any fireworks anyway.  so i suppose this year may go down
in my memory as the year i didn't really celebrate the fourth of july, but
wrote about celebrating it instead.  perhaps, when i am older, i may look
fondly at this day and thank myself for taking the time to write these
memories down, or i may think myself stupid for not doing anything
celebratory today.  time will tell.