Women: A Chemical Analysis

Kindly contributed by Mary Leung

HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION SYSTEM

MATERIALS SAFETY DATA SHEET (MSDS)

WOMEN: A Chemical Analysis

Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic Mass: Accepted as 118 lbs . Know to vary from 110 to 550
Occurence: Copious quantities throughout the world

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Surface usually covered with a painted film.
2. Boils at will, freezes without reason or warning.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
5. Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields to pressure applied to correct points.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Has a great affinity for gold,silver,platinum, and precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased by saturation with alcohol.
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.
COMMON USERS:
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.
TESTS:
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in a natural state.
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.
HAZARDS:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2. Illegal / Hazardous to possess more than one.
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