Quotes from the Classic British TV Comedy "Fawlty Towers"

Mr J: Is there anywhere they do French food?
Basil: Yes, France, I believe. They seem to like it there. And the swim would certainly sharpen your appetite. You'd better hurry, the tide leaves in six minutes.

Basil : ...Oh! Oh, I see!...It's my fault, is it?...Oh, of course, there I was thinking it was your fault because I left you in charge, or _Manuel's_ fault for not waking you, when all the time it was _my_ fault! Oh, it's so obvious now, I've seen the light! Ah well, I must be punished then, mustn't I? (slaps his bottom) You're a naughty boy Fawlty, don't do it again!

Basil: Can't we get you on Mastermind, Sybil? Next contestant Sybil Fawlty from Torquay, special subject the bleeding obvious.

Basil : "Right, right!! Just stay where you are, because obviously if there _was_ a fire you'd all be standing around here like this in the lobby, wouldn't you?...I don't know why we bother, we should let you all burn..."

Mr H: Couldn't find the freeway. Had to take a little back street called the M5.
Basil: Well I'm sorry it wasn't wide enough for you. A lot of the English cars have steering wheels.