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From JenLCB@aol.comSun Jul  2 19:06:38 1995
Date: Sun, 2 Jul 1995 21:17:36 -0400
From: JenLCB@aol.com
To: chicago.hope@umich.edu
Subject: HOPE - "Full Moon" Summary, Ep. #21

The following summary was written by Jennifer Beatty and edited by Yolette
Nicholson. We share responsibility for all grammatical and continuity errors,
but all opinions are the writers' alone.

********************************************************************CHICAGO
HOPE, EPISODE 1.21
"Full Moon"
Air date: 5/15/95
Written by David E. Kelley and Dennis Cooper
Directed by James Frawley

   Dr. Aaron Shutt bursts into Dr. Jeffrey Geiger's office. 
   ''Jeffrey?  Michael's got his rhythm back, I've got tickets, and we are on
the floor!  . . . . What the hell is this?''
   Geiger looks up frome where he is seated on the floor, surrounded by train
tracks.
   ''Train set,'' he replies.  ''I like trains.  This isn't new.''
   Shutt proceeds cautiously. ''Can I ask a stupid question?''
   ''What's a North Shore Chessie doin' haulin' a LeHigh Valley, I know.  I
just wanted to see how it looked, I'm not leavin' it like that, that'd be
crazy,'' Geiger assures him.
   ''No,'' Shutt says.  ''My question is, how do you bring  patient in here
and gently inform him he has congestive heart failure with a steam locomotive
chugging through his legs?''
   Hospital counsel Alan Birch enters.
   ''We're busy! '' Geiger barks.
   Birch stops dead upon seeing the trains. ''Oh!''
   ''We're busy!'' Geiger repeats.
   But Birch is fascinated. ''Oh!  It's an old gauge trainmaster!'' He
hunkers down next to them. ''Oh my God, it can't be the-the 23-21.  Oh, my
God it is!''
   ''You know these trains?'' Geiger asks.
   ''Do I know 'em?'' Birch repeats incredulously.  '' [something something]
Fairbanks-Morse.  Where did you get this?''
   ''And it's mint,'' Geiger boasts.
   ''The maroon roof.  I know!  It's a classic!'' Birch enthuses.
   ''Check out the Western-Pacific . . . That's the 64 car.  That's the
64-64,'' Geiger points out.
   ''I got the [something] with the rubber-stamped 'L','' Birch tells him.
   ''You like trains, Alan?'' Geiger asks.
     ''Yes!''
   ''You like Lionel Steamers?'' he asks. ''This is the first time I'm
hearin' this.''
   ''You've got the whole '54 set here,'' Birch says. ''Jeffrey,'' he lowers
his voice solemnly. ''May I?''
   ''Hee hee hee hee.  Alan, it would be my honor.'' Geiger hands Birch the
controls.  ''Now, not too fast.''
   He gets up and stands beside Shutt.
    ''Yes!'' Birch exclaims.
   Geiger watches him, grinning ear to ear.  ''You believe that?'' he asks
Shutt.
   ''I'm . . . stunned,'' Shutt says.
   Dr. Geri Infante enters the office. ''Jeffrey . . .''  She sees Birch on
the floor giggling with the trains.  ''Oh, of course!'' she says.  ''Why am I
surprised?''
   Birch chortles away. ''Heh heh heh heh!''
   Infante turns to Geiger:  ''Can I have a minute?''
   Geiger grabs Shutt's arm. ''Uh, actually, Aaron needs me at the moment, he
needs me.''
   Infante eyes his hand. ''Why are you grabbing him?''
   ''I'm not grabbing him, he came in here for a consult.  It's urgent.  Tell
her, I'm not grabbin'.''
   ''Um. . . . this is a clutch,'' Shutt explains.
   Infante turns back to Geiger. ''You say you wanna make a go of this.  You
say you wanna try.  You and me.''
   ''Geri!" Geiger protests.  "Aaron's here."
   ''Yes, because you won't let him go,'' she says. She turns to Shutt.
 ''You're his best friend.  Does he ever get intimate with you?''
   ''Uh, this is about it,'' Shutt says.
   She turns back to Geiger. ''You know, I have accepted all your lunacy, I
have bought into the whole baggage, but every time we get close to some kind
of consummation, you lay down another track in here!''
   She turns to Shutt again. ''Let me ask you:  is he ever going to sleep
with me?''
   ''Oh, I'm . . . sure he will,'' Shutt replies uncomfortably.
   ''Jeffrey, I am at the end,'' Infante continues.  ''We're both grown ups.
 I want to have an adult relationship.  I really, really do.  If that means
no sex, it's OK.  It's fine.  But I need to feel like we're together.  I
can't keep killing my patients just to squeeze a little . . . tenderness out
of you.  We are adults.''
   In the background, Birch chortles away. ''Heh heh heh heh heh  . . . Where
is this?  Oh, track one.''
   Infante looks over at him. ''Maybe not,'' she says, just before she
leaves.
   ''I don't know about her, Aaron," Geiger says, watching her thoughtfully.
 "Seems crazy."
   ''Yeah.  Uh, can I have my arm back now, please?'' 
   Geiger lets him go, and he leaves. Geiger turns back to Birch.
''Press one.  Hit the one.  There you go.  Hit Track 3.  Track 10.''  The
train whistle blows. ''Yeeeaaahhhhhh!''

   "Signed, Sealed, Delivered" is playing in the O.R. as Geiger finishes up a
procedure.  
   "Suction once, suction twice.  Clamp once, clamp twice.  Move 'em up.
 Another bypass, another survivah.  When do I get to go on 'Nova'?"  Geiger
jokes.
   He spots Infante in the scrub room, and dashes out to speak with her.  She
tells him she is face-lifting a nun in three minutes. The nun had won the
procedure at a church raffle.
     ''All right, lemme--lemme say this fast, which is good, 'cause it sounds
less crazy when it's clipped,'' Geiger starts. ''My intimacy problem still
has to do with the fidelity issue with Laurie, which as you correctly point
out, I should no longer have, but I do, which is nuts, which goes to my
insanity which you willingly signed up for when you chose to get int imate,
taken it was something I was capable of.  Are you with me?''
   ''Not even close,'' Infante says.
   ''All right, here's the deal.  I feel I could get by this if I had
Laurie's blessing, which again, I know is ridiculous, but that's the thing
about feelings, they can't always be legislated by common sense.''
    ''Uh huh,'' Infante prompts.
   ''Getting Laurie's blessing wouldn't be a problem  She would love to think
that I was happy, I know this.  So much so I really shouldn't need the
blessing at all, that goes without saying.  But I want it nonetheless, which
again is evidence of the insanity *you* found so endearing.''
   ''Jeffrey?  Sweetie?  Honeybunch?'' Infante coos. ''I have an unconscious
nun waiting for a new chin.''
   ''I want us to have dinner with Laurie," Geiger continues.  "She'll love
you, she'll love us.  So much so . . . I'll become unblocked."
   ''You want me to have dinner with your ex-wife?'' Infante asks.
   ''Tonight,'' Geiger confirms. ''I already spoke to her.  They'll--they'll
let her out of the academy as long as she has security with her.  I got the
back room at Delphini's.  Just pasta.  She's not dangerous with soft food.''
   ''I think it might be better if you just . . . play with your trains.''
   ''You two will love each other.  It'll be great!''  He kisses her over her
mask and runs out of the room. ''Don't rush your scrubs!''

   ''I--I have Bulls tickets, all right?'' Shutt fulminates in Geiger's
office.  ''The game starts in--''
   Geiger interrupts. ''Do I ask you for much?  I think I don't.  Do I ask ya
for much?  Do I?  Why do I have to ask questions three times just to get a
simple answer, Aaron?  Do I ask ya for much?  There, four times!  I, uh, I
can't speak.''
   ''Jeffrey . . . '' Shutt begins.
   In the background, the train whistle blows. ''Fabulous!  Hahahahahahaha!''
Birch howls.
   Shutt grabs Geiger and propels him into his own office, flinging him down
onto a chair.  Shutt carefully tells him he needs to get professional help.
 He says that Geiger shouldn't need him to referee between his ex-wife and
his girlfriend, nor does he need to get Laurie's blessing.  
   Geiger argues that he knows exactly what is going on with him, so he
doesn't need a shrink to help him figure it out.  He simply does not want to
hurt Laurie.  They have had a parent-child relationship ever since she drown
their baby six years ago, and she was diagnosed with schizophrenia.  Geiger
tells Shutt that if Laurie sees Shutt and Camille accepting him and Infante
together, then she will be more inclined to as well.  
   Besides that, he says, "I could just use you by my side."  
   Shutt seems satisfied with Geiger's apparent clear-headedness, and wants
to help his friend make this relationship work.  
   "Then I'll be there.  I'll be there," he says.

   Putting on his lab coat the hall, Shutt spots Nyland, and gives him his
tickets.  Then he finds his wife, Camille, who complains about the dinner
date.  
   ''Tonight?  Now?'' she asks.
   ''It's important to him,'' Shutt insists.
   "'ER's on tonight!'' Camille protests.
   ''If I can give up Michael Jordan, you can give up Anthony Hopkins,''
Shutt says. 
   ''Edwards,'' Camille corrects him.
   "Whatever.''
   ''I don't see what possible sense it makes for us to go out--'' she
complains.
   Shutt interrupts her. ''It doesn't have to make sense.  Jeffrey needs us,
honey.  Come on.  It's Delphini's,'' he wheedles.  ''We can just pretend it's
the two of us, and--and the candlelight. Good food . . . ''
   ''You owe me so huge for this,'' Camille says.
   ''Oh, please,'' Shutt scoffs as they begin walking down the hall. ''You're
still paying me off for that *three*-hour Easter service you dragged me to.''
   ''It wasn't three hours--'' Camille protests.
   ''Up and down, up and down--'' Shutt elaborates.
   ''It was a lot less painful than Jeffrey and Laurie Loony--''
   ''I had my best pants on, up and down--''
   ''If he breaks into song, I'm outta there. . . .'' Camille says.

   Geiger paces nervously in the restaurant. ''What time is it?'' he asks
Shutt.
   Shutt checks his watch.  ''It's, uh. . . ''
   ''There she is,'' Geiger interrupts as his ex-wife, Laurie, and Dr. Joseph
enter. They exchange greetings and hugs.
   ''This is Geri,'' Geiger tells Laurie.
   Laurie smiles warmly and shakes Infante's hand enthusiastically.
 ''Hello!''
   ''Infante, Laurie.  Laurie, Geri.  Geri, Laurie,'' Geiger babbles
nervously.
   Infante smiles back. ''Hi, I've heard so much about you!''
   Laurie draws back, tense.  ''Everything?''
   ''We can all sit,'' Geiger breaks in.  ''Actually, we don't have to.  We
have the whole room, so for cocktails we can stand.  They can't make us
sit.''
   Everyone laughs.
   Gilbert enters, with a security guard in tow. ''Laurie!'' he crows. ''They
let me drive!''
   Geiger looks as though he's been hit. 
   ''Oh, honey, you remember Gilbert,'' Laurie tells him.
   Geiger responds weakly, ''Yes, I'm, uh, so thrilled you could make it.''
   ''Check out the tone?'' Gilbert tells a befuddled Shutt.  ''The truth is
not in the words, it's in the tone.''
   ''Uh, Aaron Shutt,'' Shutt introduces himself. ''This is my wife,
Camille.''
   ''A pleasure,'' Gilbert says, smiling.  "You must be the mediators."
   Laurie addresses Infante. ''So, do you and Jeffrey plan to marry?''
   ''Somebody get a damn drink order?  How do you get a drink?'' Geiger asks.
   Infante struggles with the question, ''Uh--oh--uh-w-w--uh, no.''
   ''We used to be married,'' Laurie tells her.
   Infante seizes on this. ''Yes!  I know, for eleven years.''
   ''Yeah, we had a son, but I drowned him,'' Laurie says.
   Jeffrey looks pained. ''Honey--''
   ''Dr. Joseph said that she probably knows.  But I just wanted to be
upfront.  I hate not knowing what other people know, makes me vasovagal.''
   ''Me too,'' Infante says.
   ''Let's sit,'' Geiger urges.
   ''The tone,'' Gilbert sings.
   ''Gilbert,''  Dr. Joseph warns.
   ''I'm starved!'' Laurie says.
   ''It's not right that he's here,'' Geiger says.
   ''Uh, honey, relax,'' Infante tells him.
   ''I'm relaxed.''
   ''She called him honey,'' Laurie accuses.
   ''And sweetly,'' Gilbert concurs.
   ''OK, everybody, everybody. . . '' Shutt steps in.  ''We're gonna have a
nice, nice dinner, OK, so, let's just take our seats, and uh, security can
stay on the perimeter, and we're gonna have a . . . great evening.  OK?''
   Everyone sits, with Laurie between Jeffrey and Camille.  Shutt realizes
the faux-pas.  ''Oh!  Gilbert!''
   The Shutts move down one space. Dr. Joseph and the two security guards
stand behind the group.
   ''Yes.  Excellent.  We're sitting.  Excellent.'' Geiger says.

   Geiger  mops his face and neck with his napkin.
   ''Why are you sweating?'' Laurie asks him.
   ''I'm not sweating, I'm perspiring,'' Geiger informs her.  ''There's a
difference, honey.  And the reason I'm perspiring is because I'm very
nervous.  We're effectively on a double date. You're with another man, I'm
with another woman.  It's a very odd thing.''
     Gilbert looks pointedly at the Shutts. ''Why are they here?''
   ''Gilbert, I ordered you some peanuts and cracker jack.  Perhaps you could
anticipate them in silence,'' Geiger snaps.
   Gilbert glances at Shutt with mouth agape.
   ''The tone,'' Shutt says understandingly.
   ''The purpose of this dinner, as you know, would be for . . . well, for
you and me to get comfortable.  With us being together, yet apart.  Does that
make any sense?''
   ''I need to urinate,'' Gilbert says.  
   Geiger gives him a look. 
   ''That wasn't a commentary, I, uh, I really do have to--'' Gilbert
stammers.
   ''Security!'' Geiger calls.
   ''Um, Gilbert has bashful bladder," Laurie explains.  "He can't go in
public places.  So we've towed portable facilities.  Did you valet, honey?''
   The Shutts and Infante exchange looks.
    ''No, uh, we're, uh, we're in the lot," Gilbert says.  "I'll be right
back,'' 
   ''Come *right* back, Gilbert,'' Dr. Joseph warns sternly.
   ''So, tell me about you two,'' Laurie urges Geiger and Infante as Gilbert
leaves.  She gives Jeffrey a sidelong glance.  ''Try not to sweat.''

   ''So then our first real date date was to go see Ben E. King,'' Geiger
tells Laurie.
   ''Oh, he loves Ben E. King!'' Laurie gushes.
   ''I know,'' Infante says, smiling.
   ''Oh, God, his dream in med school was to take out one of Ben E. King's
lungs.  Wasn't it, sweetie?'' Laurie says.
   ''That's not actually true, honey,'' Geiger responds.  ''I said this
once--''
   ''Oh, he loves the song 'Up On the Roof.' '' Laurie continues, unheeding.
   ''--I'd like to take a peek at his lungs.  It was a comment on his
singing.  A marvel at his lung capacity,'' Geiger finishes.
   ''That was the Drifters. Ben E. King used to be with the Drifters.  But
I'm not sure that he sang "Up On the Roof."  Remember that song, honey?  "Up
on the Roof"?'' Laurie asks.
   ''I remember it,'' Geiger says. He watches her, fascinated, as she talks.
   ''Oh, God,'' Laurie continues. ''We would play it, and we would sing, "Up
on the roof. . . ." and then I would want to go up on a roof, but Jeffrey
wouldn't let me because he was afraid that I would jump off.  
   ''So--,'' she laughs. ''What did we used to do?  Wait, wait. . . . ''  She
closes her eyes, and sings, swaying and gesturing.  'When this old world
starts gettin' me down--''
   Infante says to Geiger.  ''We danced to that one, didn't we?''
   "--and people are just too--" Laurie breaks off abruptly. ''What do you
mean you danced?''
   ''Can we get menus?'' Geiger asks no one in particular.
   ''Forget the menus!'' Laurie says. She turns to Infante.  ''You *danced*?
 You danced *together*?''
   Infante backpedals, confused.  ''Uh . . . uh. . . yes.  Oh, but I don't
think it was to "Up on the Roof."  Come to think of it . . . ''
   Laurie turns on Geiger.  ''You never danced with me.  *Ever*.  I *love* to
dance.  I begged you to dance and you would always say, 'I don't dance, I'm
not a dancer.'  So are you a dancer, Jeffrey?  Are you a dancer now?''
   ''I wonder if they have cous-cous here?'' Camille interjects brightly.
   ''Oh, shut up, Camille!'' Laurie snaps.  ''You're just here as an
icebreaker.  To make it more comfortable.  The ice is broken, we don't need
you anymore.  You can go.''
   Camille smiles appreciatively as she gets up. ''Excellent.''
   ''Camille.  Camille,'' Shutt detains her.  She sits back down, and they
all stare at each other uncomfortably.

   Geiger shouts,  ''How dare you? To be rude to her like that?  To be rude
to me?''
   ''How dare you lie to me for eleven years?'' Laurie yells back.
   ''What?  About dancing?'' Geiger shouts.  ''Wow, big lie.  Guess what,
maybe I do hate dancing.  Maybe I just pretended to like it with her, 'cause
that's what first dates are all about.  Pretending and lying.  I danced with
you in the beginning.  You forgotten that?''
   Infante puts a hand on his shoulder, soothingly,  ''Jeffrey. . . .''
   Geiger calms down.  ''OK.  Laurie.  Honey.  I am not here tonight to fight
with you.''
     ''No.  You're here to protect me,'' Laurie says sarcastically. ''You're
here as the ever-loving watchdog, taking care to make sure I'm not hurt by
Cleopatra over here.  You're the parent, I'm the child.  Isn't that what he
told you?  We have a parent-child relationship?  Ha!''
   ''What? Wh--?  What did she say?'' Geiger asks, stunned.
   ''I believe it was . . . 'Ha.' ''  Shutt offers.
   ''Here's the joke,'' Laurie says, as Geiger gets up from the table. ''We
are parent-child.  We always were.  Only you are the child, Jeffrey.  You
always wanted me to be your mother.''
   ''You don't need to get up. . . '' Dr. Joseph tells Geiger.
   ''Shut up!'' Geiger snarls.  He turns to Laurie. ''I never wanted you to
be my mother.  My mother was enough--''
   ''You've never let me be your wife.  You tried to make me her,'' Laurie
says.
   ''I certainly didn't need--'' Geiger starts.
   ''You never--'' Laurie says.
   ''Dinner's over.  Let's get out of here,'' Geiger says, grabbing Infante's
arm and dragging her past Laurie.
   ''Is that what he likes in you?  Are you maternal with him?'' Laurie yells
at her.
   Geiger leaves Infante, and wheels back toward Laurie, taking a mock swing
at her. ''You don't know anything,'' he seethes.
   ''Hey, hey, Jeffrey,'' Shutt says, getting up.
   Geiger thrusts his nose into Laurie's face. ''You live your life in a
rubber room.  Mating with a guy who valet-parks U-Haul toilets.  Why should
anybody here listen to anything you have to say?  You're just giddy to be
outta your jacket.''
   ''OK, that was less than constructive,'' Joseph says.
   ''Well, she shouldn't be talkin' about . . . things she doesn't know
about,'' Geiger replies defensively. He turns to Laurie.  ''You shouldn't be
talkin' about . . . *that*.''
   Laurie says tearfully,  ''Honey, you are here tonight not because you're
worried about my feelings.  You are here bringing your date before me, your
mother figure.  You want the approval that you never had.''
   ''Dinner's over,'' Geiger tells Infante. ''We're getting out of here.''
   ''Jeffrey.  Jeffrey,'' Infante says.
   ''What?'' Geiger hisses to her.  ''Just be quiet, you don't know
anything.'' He turns abrupty, leaving her nea the door, and wheels back over
to Laurie. 
   ''You . . . don't  . . . know . . . anything,'' he whispers cruelly to her
as she cries.
   Geiger leaves, brushing past Gilbert as he arrives with a proud smile.  
   ''I peed without incident!'' he says.

   ''I--I don't think he's comin' back,'' Shutt volunteers to the silent
table.
   Joseph sits in Geiger's spot. ''Maybe we should just perhaps end the
evening.''
   ''I'm worried about him, Aaron.  Could you take me to his apartment?''
Infante asks. ''In this state, I-I-I'm worried about him.''
   Laurie eats her salad.  ''He's not at his apartment,'' she says. ''I know
where he goes when he gets like this.''
   Everyone looks at her expectantly.  Finally, Camille asks, ''WHERE?''
   Laurie takes a bite of salad. ''Russo's.  It's this dive bar in some alley
off of Rush Street.  He goes there and he sings,'' she says.
   ''Heh.  That's not a surprise,'' Gilbert says.
   Shutt is doubtful.  ''He's never told me about this place.  Russo's?''
   "Well, he goes there when the demons gang up inside him.  He goes and vent
the monsters.  He's there now, I know it,'' Laurie says.
   ''Let's get him?'' Infante asks.
   ''Have you heard him sing?  It won't be "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah," I promise
you,'' Gilbert sneers.
   ''Jeffrey Geiger set this evening up for you,'' Infante tells Laurie.
 Laurie gives her a look. ''Or his mother, whatever, who knows?  But right
now he's the one who needs our help.''
   They all get up and leave.
   Gilbert, you're going back to Huron,'' Joseph says.
   ''What?'' Gilbert says.
   ''I shouldn't even be letting Laurie go, but I'm taking security and I'm
going myself.  You are going back to the hospital.  No arguments.''
   ''That's a colossal gyp!'' Gilbert protests.
   ''Never mind,'' Joseph says.
   ''Come on, let's go,'' Infante prods urgently.

   At Russo's, a frenzied Geiger is singing "Rockabye Your Baby" with Paul
Ford at the piano:  "'Weep No More, My Lady,' when you sing that song for me.
. . ."
   ''See, I told you?'' Laurie says.
   Shutt is disturbed. ''He--he just comes in here and does this?''
   ''Mm-hmm.  When he's tortured,'' she says.
   ''He's very good,'' Joseph remarks. Shutt glares at him.
   Infante, then Shutt, attempt to get him to come off the stage and talk to
them, telling him that this behavior is inappropriate.  He ignores them,
continuing to sing, growing more and more frenzied  He ends the song and bows
his head with an anguished grimace, eyes squeezed tightly shut.  As he cries,
there is a pause, and one man at the bar claps.

   The Huron van pulls up to the door on the fourth floor of the parking
garage.  Geiger gets out without a word and runs for the building.
   ''Jeffrey,'' Shutt calls after him, ''Your car's--oh, he's-he's goin' for
his trains.''
   ''OK, I'll talk to him,'' Laurie says.
   ''Laurie--Laurie, we have to get back,'' Joseph tells her.
   Laurie brushes him aside. ''I--my husband needs me to talk to him.''
   ''I'll talk to him,'' Infante tells her.
   Laurie looks at her. ''You?  He needs me!''
   ''Listen, Laurie, you're the reason he--'' Infante accuses.
   ''I am the only one who can reach him when he gets like this! '' She
 glares at Shutt.  ''And you, Mr. Best Friend, you have helped at all.''
   ''Never mind,'' Joseph says.
   ''Stop with the never mind!'' Laurie shouts.

   Birch is still sitting on the floor of Geiger's office, playing with the
trains, when Geiger tears into the office. Geiger screams at him for using
the wrong trains. "What are you, some kinda psychotic nut?" he yells. 
   Birch is shocked, and asks him if everything is all right.  Geiger tells
him to get out.

   Watters leads the rest of the dinner party down the  hospital corridor.
 ''What happened?'' he asks.
   ''He just had a meltdown,'' Shutt explains. ''Laurie started talking about
his mother, he just went on tilt.''
   ''He's always going on tilt,'' Watters points out.
   ''No, this was a little more serious this time,'' Shutt says.
   Dr. Joseph informs them he will be reporting this incident to the medical
licensing board.  They arrive as Birch is coming out of the office.  Shutt
asks him if Geiger is in there, and he mutters in sad confusion, "He said I
could, uh, play with them and he--he. . . ." 
   Infante wants to go in and talk to Geiger, but Shutt tells her, "We'll
give him two minutes to collect himself with his locomotives, then I will go
in.  I will talk to him."
   Shutt goes in and watches Geiger pacing pantless, fretfully biting his
fingernails, watching the trains.  Shutt sits down and shuts the trains off.
   ''So what's all this stuff about Mom?'' he asks gently.
   ''She's dead,'' Geiger says.
   ''Yes, this I know,'' Shutt says.
   ''You know why she's dead?'' Geiger asks him.
   ''I believe it was heart failure,'' Shutt replies.
   Geiger shakes his head.  ''No.  She died because that's the only way she
can still dominate me.  Every day of my life, she was pushing me, Aaron.
 Pushing, pushing, pushing, pushing, pushing.  You know what I'm saying?''
   ''Uh . . . she . . . pushed you?'' Shutt asks.
   ''Don't be smart.  Don't get smart when I'm not wearin' pants.  You know
how I am pantless,'' Geiger says.
   Shutt smiles.  
   ''Drove me in college, drove me in med school.  You know what else?  She
only paid for med school if I'd live at home so she could still push, so she
could keep comin' in my room.  The *footsteps* up the stairs, every night,
into my room.  Push, push, push, not good enough, not good enough, not good
enough.   And then I make it, become the big doctor, get married, move out,
know what she does then?  She dies.  She dies.   Know why?''
   ''Well, again, I thought it was heart failure,'' Shutt says.
   ''No, she died so she could be in the room.  Wherever I go now she's in
the room.  That's why she died.  That it was heart failure?  That's just one
last final shot.''
   He walks toward the window. ''I'm the heart surgeon.  Couldn't save her.
 Not good enough, not good enough.  STOP! STOP THE TRAINS!'' he shouts.
   ''The trains are stopped, Jeffrey,'' Shutt says quietly.
   ''Laurie's right,'' Geiger says, his voice breaking.  ''I c--I can't
escape my mother.  I wanted--I wanted Laurie to take care of me.  That's what
started to ruin our. . . and I made her feel like a failure as a mother to
me, and she lost trust with herself with Joey, and maybe that had something
to--''
   ''No.  It didn't.  It did not,'' Shutt tells him firmly.
   ''Maybe I feel like I'm with Geri because I--I don't know, I feel she can
handle me, maybe it's some *insidious* Oedipus thing, I don't know.  I
really--I don't know.  I don't know.''
   ''OK.  So we got a lotta stuff,'' Shutt says soothingly. ''But you know it
will all get better if you just get some help.  Will you get some help,
Jeffrey?''
   ''I feel my whole life I've let everybody down,'' Geiger says.
   ''You've never let me down,'' Shutt assures him.  ''Jeffrey, you're the
greatest friend that anybody could have.  After Camille, there is no human
that I love more, and you know that.  You know how much I love you.''
   ''Well, how could I make such a mess?'' Geiger asks.
   ''Because this is what you do,'' Shutt says. ''It's what you do.''

   A bit later, Shutt walks out of Geiger's office, and everyone looks at him
expectantly.
   ''He's, uh, he's better.  He's gonna be OK,'' Shutt tells them.
   ''What's he doing?'' Watters asks.
   ''He's  . . . putting on his pants.  He'd like to speak to Laurie,'' Shutt
says.
   Infante's face falls.  Laurie smiles, and walks toward the office. 
   ''I wouldn't talk about Mother,'' Shutt warns her.
   ''I won't,''  she says.
   Infante takes her coat and silently leaves.

   ''I always love to hear you sing,'' Laurie smiles at Geiger. Geiger smiles
back. She kneels before him, and takes his hands.
   ''I'm sorry, honey.  I tried to be--you know, strong for you.  I'm a fake.
 There's never a day I truly think I can even survive,'' Geiger says.
   "Sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh,'' Laurie soothes.
   ''I like Geri.  I might--I might even love her,'' Geiger says.
   ''That's OK, baby.  It's OK,'' Laurie says.
   ''But I'll always need you,'' Geiger says.
   Laurie smiles. ''That's OK, too.''
   ''I don't think I can be strong enough to love her if you're not there.''
   ''Then I'll be there,'' Laurie tells him. ''You always know where to find
me, sweetie.  'Cause I'm locked up.''  They both laugh.
   ''Well, look at me.  Still at large,'' Geiger says.
   ''Yeah.''
   They embrace. Laurie has tears in her eyes.

************************************

PLOT TWO

   Charles Ellis is wheeled in to the emergency room at Chicago Hope with
severe abdominal pains.  The paramedic tells Dr. Danny Nyland the man has
AIDS, which seems to make Nyland uncomfortable.  Ellis vomits, then asks for
Dr. Hancock.  He tells Nyland he has AIDS, and apologizes.

    Nyland explains to Hancock that Mr. Ellis had some pink vomit, which he
thinks is mostly due to esophogeal ulcers from the CMVs, and that his lungs
are wet.  He also has appendicitis, and that no surgeon will want to operate,
because Mr. Ellis isn't going to survive.  He tells him he has paged Dr.
Grad, and asks Hancock for Mr. Ellis' next of kin.  Hancock tells him Mr.
Ellis has no family.  Nyland asks Hancock to put a DNR on the chart, and
leaves.  Hancock tells Ellis that he can give him some medication to make him
more comfortable.  
    Ellis weakly replies, "I don't want to be comfortable, Dr. Hancock.  I
want to live."  
    Hancock has a nurse admit him to surgery.

    Dr. Grad comes to see Ellis. 
    ''Mr. Ellis.  I heard you were bugging us again,'' she greets him.
    ''Yeah.  Malaria didn't kill me.  AIDS hasn't yet.  Gonna be my
appendix,'' he says.
    ''Bitch, bitch, bitch,'' Grad admonishes.
    Ellis says to Hancock. ''I like her.''

    Grad tells Hancock she was only called on the case because her name was
on Mr. Ellis' old chart.  She says she doesn't want to butt in, but he tells
her she's welcome and that Mr. Ellis has been glad to see her.  Dr. Bob
Meriniak arrives and tells them he has given Mr. Ellis 50 of demoral IM to
keep him comfortable, but he refuses to operate, which angers Hancock.

    In hospital chief of staff Dr. Phillip Watters' office, Watters agrees
with Meriniak, whom Hancock calls "an overly timid surgeon."  Meriniak
assures him bloody fields are not a problem with him, and that he has
operated on AIDS patients before.  But the risk of his contracting AIDS far
outweighs any help it will be for Ellis.  
    Hancock asks Watters where Nyland and Dr. Kronk are.  Watters tells him
they're both off, and he will not page them.  Hancock offers to operate
himself.  Watters wants to see Mr. Ellis before granting permission.

    Watters asks Mr. Ellis if he remembers him.  
    "Yeah.  Dr. No.  I'll bet you're here to say no again, right?" he says.
     Watters warns him that the most surgery could buy him would be one day,
maybe two.  
    "I'll take it," he says.  
    Watters takes Hancock out of the room, telling him again that there will
be no benefit whatsoever to the patient, even if he survives the surgery.  
    "You're forgetting about the day.  To him, it's a lifetime."  
    Watters allows the surgery to take place, but with a scrub team by
volunteer only.  Grad also volunteers, saying, "I can still hold a
retractor."

    Hancock warns the scrub team once again of the risks involved, and allows
them to back out.  None do.

    Before surgery, Ellis tells Hancock he knows he may not wake up from the
surgery, but that he will not live to see the sun rise the next morning
without it.  
    "I want to see the sunrise,"  he says. 
    Hancock smiles and says, "Somehow I got that impression. . . . So we'll
see you there, Mr. Ellis.  At daybreak."  
    As he goes under, Grad asks Hancock when was the last time he took out an
appendix.  He answers, "No idea."

    The operation does not go as well as Hancock had hoped.  "Come on,
Charles," he urges.  "You stay."

    Hancock tries to do more to save Ellis, but realizes he has done all he
can.

    After surgery, in Mr. Ellis' room, Hancock thanks Grad for her help.  She
asks him if he is going home, but he tells her has to write his op notes.
 She tells him that if it means anything, she thinks he did everything he
could.  He smiles appreciatively, telling her it means a lot.  She leaves,
and he replaces Mr. Ellis' surgical cap with his own hat.  He sits down on
the chair to await the sunrise.

    In Mr. Ellis' room, the rising sun shines through the window on his face.
 His eyes open.  Hancock also awakens.  They look at each other and smile.
 Mr. Ellis looks back at the window, takes one last breath and closes his
eyes.

    In the hall, Hancock is looking out the window when Watters approaches
him, asking him if Mr. Ellis saw the sunrise.  He tells him he did.  
    "Did you see it?"  Watters asks.  "It was beautiful."  
    ''Yeah,'' Hancock says. ''It was.''  
    Watters asks him if he'd like to get breakfast, putting a fatherly hand
on his shoulder.  Hancock accepts, and they walk down the hallway together.

******************************************************
JEN'S RANDOM THOUGHTS AND OBSERVATIONS:

I have never seen Jeffrey more delighted than he is showing off his trains to
Alan.  I wonder if Mandy and Peter are like this at their model train
conventions?

Wonder who Nyland took to the game?  Maggie?  Kronk?
 
I loved Camille and Aaron's scene in the hallway!  I want them to have many,
many more exchanges like the one in this episode.
 
I had chills when Jeffrey sang.......but they were hot, embarrassed chills.
 I wasn't sure if I was laughing at him or not.  But I did feel embarrassed
for the man.

In transcribing, I noticed that Laurie seldom uses contractions.  She always
seems to be choosing her words very carefully and deliberately.  I loved how
she pronounced "vasovagal," like she was just so proud that she'd found a way
to put that word into her conversation.  Laurie was once again, in some ways,
the "sanest," or at least able to understand Jeffrey's insanity for what it
was, and why it was that way.

At the end, Laurie was still playing the mother, telling him, "That's OK,
baby," while still giving her approval for Jeffrey to love Geri. 

I felt sad for Geri at end . . . but why did she assume she wasn't needed?
 Maybe Jeffrey was going to ask for her next.  It seemed only natural to me
that he would want to apologize to his ex-wife for getting so angry, and for
almost hitting her and all.  I think Geri has an inferiority complex.  (This
made it even more difficult for me to justify her subsequent "turning on"
Jeffrey in the finale, because she was so angry.  This just didn't seem like
a good enough argument to me.  What did she have to be so angry about?  It
was Laurie she had seemed so angry with.  The two of them were arguing in the
parking garage and later in the office about who Jeffrey needed more.  They
both have serious "Wendy" complexes, if you ask me.)

I still wonder what DEK's relationship is/was with his mother?  Laurie drowns
her child, Geri's mother's death made her into a surgeon, Mrs. Geiger
verbally abused her son.  It's a nice trilogy of mother issues, although I
thought the "how-do-you-feel-about-your-mother" angle was a little cliched.
 Not that it doesn't happen.  I just seemed a little pat for DEK.  But at
least Kadalski wasn't around, to sing High Hopes to him . . .
*****************************************************
YOLETTE'S RANDOM THOUGHTS AND OBSERVATIONS:

This must be the episode I liked the least.  I thought the directing was
especially bad. Jeffrey Geiger was completely out of character, especially in
the scene where he proposes to Geri that they have dinner with Laurie. I mean
he was bouncing!  He became this caricature that I can't in a million years
see coming from a heretofore deeply unhappy 40-something-year-old heart
surgeon.  And say, OK, that this happened (one can't dictate human behavior,
after all), why wasn't Geri more surprised at this abrupt and quite
ridiculous change in behavior?  She behaved like it was quite normal for this
man to be chasing her around the scrub room like an eager puppy.  Anyway,
that rang a false note with me.

But I must say the idea to use singing as a means to get through to Geiger's
real soul was a stroke of genius. There are few things more powerful on this
earth than Mandy Patinkin's voice.  It was uncomfortable, yeah, but you
didn't doubt for a second the level of pain Geiger was in. It was very
disturbing to watch.

Also, the bit about ''footsteps keep coming into my room,'' smacks of
something more serious than emotional abuse from Geiger's mother.  Just a
thought.