Great Geigerisms 2.2
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Memorable Mandy Moments/Great Geigerisms
Rise from the Dead
Birch is carrying Alicia, as Geiger meets him in the hall:
AB: You know sweetheart, it is moments like this that make daddy--
JG: Make daddy what?
AB: My daughter and I are having a private conversation.
JG: Have you seen this? Of coarse you have, all the Board members
have. Chicago Hope Cost Containment Proposal, Katherine
Austin, MD FACS. This woman can't be serious.
AB: Look, not now, Jeffrey. I've gotta take Alicia down to accounting.
JG: Accounting? [to Alicia] Aren't you a little young? I mean,
even for the new Math.
AB: The nanny didn't show. Got a friend in accounting said she'd
watch her. Ah! The play crib. I forgot the play crib.
JG: You haven't answered me about this piece of flotsam.
AB: You know Phillip encouraged Dr. Austin to put her ideas on
paper. [JG's beeper goes off and he heads towards the elevator.]
JG: It's a joke, Alan. [yelling to AB with his back to the
opening elevator doors] Get Kate Austin out of my OR, back in
her kitchen bakin' brownies. [He turns around to enter the
elevator and sees KA. He hesitates before getting on.]
KA: Dr. Geiger. [doors close]
Fight breaks out in the ER. Geiger gets off the elevator and peers
through the window. Hancock had paged him:
JG: ER has all the fun. You had me paged. This better be good.
DH: Paramedics brought in one of my patients unconscious. I've
had him on meds a month now, but ... maybe it's time to cut.
JG: What's the problem?
JG: Hypertrophic Obstructive Cardiomyopathy. What's the matter--
big words scare you?
DH: [smiling] Please. If you agree about surgery I'd like to
schedule the procedure.
JG: There's a definite thickening in the [posterio basal?] left
ventricular wall. EKG shows left chamber Q-waves. How old's
JG: Let's go. [They enter the examination room.]
DH: Victor, I'd like you to meet Dr. Geiger.
JG: Victor, mind if I take a listen?
Vic: Not at all.
JG: Thank you. I hear you fainted.
JG: How'd you feel before the lights went out?
Vic: Little dizzy.
JG: You've been takin' the medication Dr. Hancock prescribed?
Vic: Itineral (sp?). It's a beta blocker. 100 mg 1 qd.
JG: Watching too many doctor shows. [smiles]
Vic: I'm pre med. Northwestern.
JG: Even worse. Excuse us. [JG and DH walk out.]
How long you say he's been on meds?
DH: A month, but I don't think he's getting any better.
JG: I'm not questioning your judgement. You made the right call,
but the prescribed coarse of treatment recommends 6 months.
Insurance company won't pony up for surgery. Not yet anyway.
DH: Any suggestions?
JG: Kate Austin wants to be the hospital savior. Ask for a
consult. Let her see it's easy solving problems on paper, but
when they're rolled in on a gurney, that's another story.
[JG enters an elevator.] By the way, your out patient
clinic-- Austin's proposal-- not a pretty picture.
[elevator doors close]
Shutt walks in the waiting room outside his office:
JG: Where you've been? I'm starved. [They enter Shutt's office.]
You read Austin's proposal yet? Fill you in at lunch.
[Camille has also been waiting for AS.] Camille! ... Good to
see you. ... Nice dress, very shapely. ... Don't tell me you
finally got a day off, huh? ... I'll take a rain check, huh?
Train whistles are blowing as Birch enters his office:
AB: Oh no! Jeffrey! [He only sees JG's back sitting on floor in
front of the train set.] This kind of behavior nearly got
your license yanked. I thought we'd taken our last ride on
JG: [turns around and has Alicia on his lap] [baby talk]
Look here. Look, daddy's here, daddy's here. Hello.
AB: Hey Alicia! What are you doing here?
JG: [baby talk] Look who's here?
AB: What are you doing here?
JG: I came by. She was waiting with some woman from accounting,
so I offered to take her. You ever think about openin' a day
care center at the hospital. Of coarse, it may not be cost
efficient. You'd have to check with Kate Austin first about that.
[baby talk; he has a miniature Bugs Bunny in his hand] Here,
look at this.
AB: Yeah. Jeffrey, I owe you an apology.
JG: For what?
AB: [gestures at the trains] This. Hey! You got the Lionel
reissue here, the girls' train.
JG: [baby talk] That's right, yes. [re Bugs] What you got?
Where'd you put me? Put me back in there. I want to stay in
there. This is where I live. This is where I live.
AB: I bet you were a good daddy, huh?
JG: Good? I was the very best daddy. [He kisses Alicia on the
head.] Oh, I loved it. Biggest uh... the only regret of my
life-- I didn't have more kids after Joey died. Laurie's own
nutsyness notwithstanding. Should've had a bundle. Kids come
in bundles right? [to Alicia] Right? Oooooo Ooooooh. [baby
talk] That's what life's all about, right? Yes it is.
Austin is operating on Victor, when Geiger enters:
JG: What'd you do Austin, try killing the poor kid?
KA: By the time I got downstairs, he was bradycardia.
JG: Yeah, so and--
KA: So I listened to his heart. Found a major league systolic
murmur. By the time you could say Vinny Potsienza (sp?), he
went into full arrest.
JG: It's tough caring for a heart [?] with meds, isn't it?
KA: What? Are you familiar with this case?
JG: Not a half hour ago. Only I didn't give him an MI. Who'd you
think gave you the referral? [He starts to operate.] What a
mess, ick! Ick! [nudges KA away] [?] How can you work in
all this blood?
KA: Excuse me? Wait a second. Did you pass this kid onto me
hoping he would code?
JG: Not in your worst nightmare. Although I can't say I don't
wish you might find a lesson here.
KA: You compromised the welfare of this patient, didn't you?
KA: Oh please.
JG: Only people compromising patients are the ones pushing
cookbook medicine. I got a bleeder. Planning on helpin' out here?
KA: Yeah. [she steps around to the other side] Look, thanks
anyway, but uh... I don't need you teaching me lessons, OK?
JG: Then what's the fun working together? We have so much to
learn from one another. Vinny Potsienza?
KA: Yeah, IBF middle weight champ before losing to Roy Jones.
JG: Ah! And this music?
JG: You see, you're teaching me already too.
JG: Of coarse, I don't have to like it. Boxing's for Neanderthals
and this music's not for me. Christine. [Christine changes
the music to "Whenever I Want You"] My world-- welcome to it!
Finishing up the operation, "Get Ready 'Cause Here I Come" is
playing in the background:
KA: So, our first surgery together. We had a good time didn't we?
JG: I did. Cut. Saving someone's life, what could be more fun?
Plus, you make me laugh, Austin. You do, you really do.
KA: I'm glad... What about me in particular? What cracks you up?
JG: Oh, where to start. So many things really.
KA: Like uh...?
JG: Like uh... the charity auction. Coughed up 32 hundred bucks
to go out with Kronk.
KA: Yeah, that's pretty funny.
JG: What else... You're a Cubs fan.
KA: Oh yeah. That's always good for a laugh.
JG: I guess the most hilarious is uh... you signed on for half my salary.
KA: [LOL] That's a real knee slapper. What about my Board proposals?
JG: I was amused at first, I admit it. In fact, they bother me
quite a bit.
KA: Oh Jeff. Don't be such a kill joy. You know, everything I've
outlined from shorter stays, higher patient volume, fewer lab
tests-- it's all meant to keep us goin' out of business.
JG: No doubt we need reform around here. I just don't think
you're the one with the answers. Do you mind closin'?
KA: For you, Jeff... anything.
JG: Appreciate it.
KA: Boy, I sure hope I'm the one with the answers. I'm taking a
hefty roll with the dice on this one.
JG: Yeah, how so?
KA: In exchange for the salary cut, which actually I didn't find
that funny, the hospital Board made me a deal. If my
proposals are accepted and results in significant savings, I
could make out big. I mean *really* big. I'm practically
guaranteed a piece of Chicago Hope. And get this... someday
I might even become Chief of Surgery and be your boss! [LOL]
Isn't that a scream? Christine. [Christine changes the music
back to Puccini as JG silently walks out.]
Birch, in his office, sees Geiger walking down the hall:
AB: Oh Jeffrey, I was just coming to see you. [He closes the door
to his office and rushes up to JG.]
JG: Slow down, slow down. You'll hurt someone. I sound just like
my old man. If you'd known him, that's just what you'd say too.
AB: Sorry, I'm late to meet the father.
JG: My father?
AB: No, my father.
JG: [confused] Your father's dead, so is mine. None of this makes any sense.
AB: Father Fatima. He's performing Alicia's baptism. There's
been some last minute changes...
JG: Ah, you know I never realized you were a practicing Catholic.
I mean, not that it would make any difference to me-- you
being Catholic, me being Jewish.
AB: Jeffrey. I would like you to be Alicia's godparent.
JG: I wasn't your first choice, was I?
JG: I should have known, what with you being Catholic, me being
Jewish. That's... such... big differences between us.
AB: You weren't the first choice; you are the obvious choice.
JG: Well, why didn't you think of me first? What about Aaron?
AB: Don't ask, just answer.
JG: [whispers] I'd be honored. [smiles]
AB: You will! Oh great! [He runs to the elevator.] All right,
see you on the terrace.
JG: What happens at this shindig? I mean, nobody's speakin' in
strange tongues or anything?
AB: Noooo. Of coarse not.
JG: No flames of fire dancing on anybody's head?
AB: No no no no. I've got to go. [He enters the elevator.]
JG: Alan, Alan. [Alicia's crying in his office.] Forget
somethin'? [The elevator doors begin to close as AB sticks
his arm out to stop them.]
AB: Oh my God! ... Oh! [He rushes to Alicia, but the door to his
office is locked.] Oh no! Oh my God! OK honey! It's OK!
I'm coming. [He pushes at the door.] Don't worry! Daddy's
coming! Here I am! Oh my God!
[Geiger calmly punches in numbers on the phone as Birch tries
to break down the door with a running start. A yelp is
heard when he makes contact with the door.]
Geiger and Austin walk in together at Alicia's baptism celebration:
KA: Well, my dad was a vet, a horse vet, and my mom was a mom.
She raised six kids. She was a big influence on me becoming
a doctor. To this day, I'll never forget when I decided.
JG: Really? Tell me about it. I bet it's fascinating.
KA: Nah, you wouldn't want me to.
JG: Oh yeah, regale me.
KA: Really? You're sure?
JG: Couldn't be more.
KA: OK. I was seven and I was outside playing Red Rover, Red
Rover when I fell down and broke my arm. My dad wasn't home,
so my mom pick me up, she was this very big, you know, very
strong woman, and she took me to the kitchen. [JG is being
offered and takes an hors d'oeuvre.] Are you listening?
JG: Yeah, I'm listening... kitchen... carried me into the kitchen.
[He takes a bite of the cracker.]
KA: [continues] But being a devout Christian Scientist, she
didn't believe in X rays, or anesthesia, no traditional pain
relievers of any kind. But my arm needed to be set, right?
So... very carefully... [she puts his arm on her shoulder,
cracker still in hand]... very carefully she began feeling up
and down my arm. [She demonstrates with his arm.] Up and
down, searching for the fracture. Then finally, when she was
ready to set the bone, she went like this-- [she smacks him in
KA: You see, the slap was a distraction for the pain, so that...
that she could set the arm and it wouldn't, you know... [JG silently
walks away.] Wait. I haven't finished my story.
The priest is giving his sermon. Everyone is listening, as Austin
sneaks up on Geiger:
KA: Oh boy, this could take a while.
JG: Don't touch me.
KA: Should be a hoot, you know. You and I working together.
JG: It was a joke, right? I mean, about you becoming Chief of Surgery.
KA: I really squeeze your adrenals, don't I?
JG: Yeah, it was a joke. [She gooses him.]
Don't do that!
KA: Shhh! Shhhh!
The godparents are asked to step forward and Geiger holds Alicia as
Birch says a few words. Alicia looks like she is about to cry so,
he passes her on to Camille.
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