Great Geigerisms 2.1

Brought to you by Sue #2

            Memorable Mandy Moments/Great Geigerisms
                           Episode 2.1
                         Hello, Goodbye

Geiger is sitting in his office with his feet up on his desk.  He
is dictating an operative report into a tape recorder when Kronk
and Hancock enter:

BK:  Hi Jeffrey.
JG:  Hey, what's up?
DH:  Can I steal your Cooley supplement for about an hour?  I got
     somethin' I want to look up.
JG:  [gesturing to the edge of the desk]  Sure, it's right there.
     [He continues to dictate his notes as the two doctors try to exit.]
     Hey, why ya need it?
DH:  Got a case.  Just wanted to look up some data.  [They try
     again to leave.]
JG:  Hold on.  What kinda case?
DH:  [reluctantly] 26 year old female, hands and feet swollen,
     lungs keep filling up with fluid.
JG:  And you're in here with your library card?  You better get her
     on to something...
DH:  Got her on digoxin already.
     JG:  She also needs a diuretic if her lungs are filled with
     DH:  Cardiology said she's completely stable.
JG:  Then what the hell's the big emergency?
DH:  There is no emergency, Jeffrey.  I just wanted to borrow a book.
JG:  Why?
DH:  Can I just have the book?
JG:  I'm just curious.
DH:  She said she was vomiting her breakfast a few days ago.  I
     just wanted to rule out renal failure.
JG:  Renal failure?  You [???] kill me.  A patient can't hold down
     a waffle, you go around screamin' renal failure.
DH:  Nobody's screaming, Jeffrey.
JG:  You [???] a beach, you look for zebras?  How the hell did you
     get renal failure?
DH:  Her blood work up showed metabolic acidosis.
JG:  That could be a couple of different things.
DH:  At toxic levels.  Hypokalemia, [hypernutrimia?] and elevated
     B.U.M.  What else could that be other than a kidney?
JG:  Look it up.  Don't come running to me for your diagnosis.  You
     kids always want the short cuts.  You [???] doctors.  Look up
     the data and learn.
DH:  That's a good idea.
JG:  You always come to me for the answers.  That's the problem.
     Young docs are lazy today.  Look it up.  [DH and BK laugh as
     they exit.]  What's so damn funny, huh?  [To himself]  What is
     so damn funny?  [re the operative report]  I don't know where
     I was, so I'm goin' back.

Camille is in Jennifer's room when Geiger walks in:

JG:  [agitated]  What!?
CS:  Pulse is almost 200.  She's Hancock's patient, but he's with
     a gunshot in ER.
JG:  She's on digoxin.  Get another dig level.
CS:  Digoxin is not having any effect.
JG:  She's [???].  We gotta bring her down.
CS:  Jeffrey, she's been spiking after the V-injection.  I think
     another shot could put her into arrest.
JG:  I'm more worried about total heart failure, Camille.
CS:  She's holding at 200.
JG:  Give the injection.
CS:  I think that could be dangerous.
JG:  Fine.  A penny for your thoughts.  Mine are more expensive.
     Give her the injection.  [He walks out.]
CS:  I'm sorry, no.
JG:  [turns around]  What!?
CS:  I can't give her any digoxin.  Her level's at 2.3.  She's a
     small woman.
JG:  I said give her the injection.
CS:  I won't.
JG:  [Seething, he administers the injection himself.]
     [leaving]  Page me if she dies.

Geiger rushes into Watters' office:

JG:  I want Camille Shutt discharged immediately.  [Sees PW's
     bruised eye, backsteps.]  What the hell happened to you?
PW:  Left hook, dropped my hands.
JG:  What, boxing?  You're Chief of Staff.  You're a doctor.  You
     have to know what a belt to the head does to your brain.
PW:  The trick is to do it to the other guy's brain.  And what's
     your beef with Camille?
JG:  It's insubordination.  She flat out refused to carry out a
     direct order when I told her to.
PW:  This isn't the military.
JG:  No, it's a hospital.  When a doctor says to give a patient a
     drug, it's not for the nurse to say no.  It is not a nurse's
     place to overrule and that's what Camille did in front of
     other personnel.
PW:  Of coarse.  Should I bother to hear her side first?
JG:  She doesn't get a side when it comes to diagnosis.  That's my point.
PW:  All right, 4:00 I'll hear you both.
JG:  I'm not feeling appeased, Phillip.
PW:  I'm crushed.  I live to appease you.
     [He pats JG on the back with his folders as he walks out.]

In Watters' office that afternoon:

CS:  What happened to your eye?
PW:  Boxing.  Let's turn to why--
CS:  You actually box?  Isn't that a little... not smart?
PW:  There is a much higher rate of injury with skiing or hockey.
     Kronk plays hockey.  Some doctors drive racing cars.
JG:  Would you just cut to it-- she usurped my authority, she
     should be suspended.
CS:  In my opinion, the digoxin...
JG:  You don't get an opinion.  Nurses don't get opinions?
PW:  All right, all right.
CS:  Phillip, I have no doubt that his prescription was by the book,
     however, sometimes it helps to have some familiarity with the patient.
JG:  I know the patient, thank you.
CS:  Really?  What was her name?
JG:  [hesitates a little]  Details.  Ask me somethin' relevant.
     [Hancock walks in.]  Busy, get out.
DH:  Excuse me.  You're talking about my patient.
CS:  That doesn't necessarily make it relevant.
PW:  All right, what's the situation?
DH:  What happened to your eye?
PW:  [agitated]  Some doctors skydive for God's sake.  I mean,
     driving a car statistically puts you at greater risk.  It's my
     personal time dammit!  I can do what I want with my personal
     time.  You got a problem with that?  [They shake their heads.]
DH:  I guess not.
PW:  What about the patient?
DH:  It's electrical.  She needs an ablation.
CS:  What about digoxin?
DH:  Can't help, could possibly hurt.
JG:  It wouldn't hurt.  It could at least serve as a stop gap and
     even assuming it's electrical, the fact is the digoxin didn't
     hurt, did it?
CS:  Probably because of your soothing bedside manner.
PW:  All right, it seems that this is a gray area.  In fact, it
     seems Camille was right.  But in the future, you damn well
     better pick your spots because the next time you defy a
     doctor, turn out to be wrong, you are gone, forever and ever,
     no negotiating, you'd be done, understood?
CS:  Actually, it's not understood.  I would expect a fair hearing.
     [Nyland enters.]
PW:  Doesn't anybody knock?
DN:  What happened to your eye?  [PW glares at him.]
DH:  Uh... I'd ask another question.
DN:  I'm sorry to intrude, but there's a problem.  A patient, Larry
     Muldoon, was scheduled for a hernia operation and by mistake I
     removed his appendix.

Geiger and Hancock are wheeling Jennifer down the hall:

Jen: I talked to my parents.  They, like, can't believe you gonna
     burn my heart to kill parts of it.
JG:  Jennifer, I promise I'm gonna take good care of you.
     [Apparently he took the time to find out her name :-)]
     If not, you can get a second opinion.
Jen: Don't talk like you care about me.  You don't really care
     about me.  I don't think you're a nice person.  I don't like you.
JG:  Well, if you knew me better I'd understand your contempt.
Jen: Dr. Hancock says you're an ass.
JG:  Well... he does know me.

Geiger meets with Shutt in the hall:

JG:  Hey.
AS:  Hey.  Do you think you might have come to me on Camille before
     going to Watters?
JG:  I was afraid you'd agree with me.  That would've put you in a
     very tough position, right?
     [Shutt leaves without commenting.  Geiger sees Nyland sulking
     at the desk.  He walks over and leans on the desk.]
     Hi.  You screwed up ... Big!  [JG walks away.]

Geiger spots Jennifer crying in her room and enters:

JG:  I'm walking by and suddenly I hear tears.
Jen: Sorry, I just--  What if I die?
JG:  No, you're not dying.  Jennifer, look at me.
     You're not dying.  This time tomorrow, your heart'll be fixed
     and this time Friday, you get discharged.
Jen: You make it sound so simple.
JG:  'cause it is.
Jen: [smiling]  Thank you.
JG:  You get some sleep.  [He pats her on the head and leaves.]

Geiger and Hancock are performing the ablation.  Among the OR songs
playing are "What Becomes of a Broken Heart" and "The Way You Do
the Things You Do":

JG:  There's the affected tissue, right there.  We're on it.  OK,
     get ready to fire.
DH:  All set.
JG:  Blast off ... Off.  Amazing this could be good for a person.
     [Kate Austin walks in.]
KA:  Hmmm.
JG:  Who are you?
KA:  Hi.  Kate Austin.  I start today in cardiac surgery.
JG:  Oh yes.  I hear you're good.  Nice to have ya.  We'll talk
     more at the mixer.
KA:  I'm gone.  I just wanted to say "hi" and get a peek at an
JG:  Fire ... Off.
KA:  Oops!
JG:  Beg your pardon?
KA:  Oh that's just a good luck ritual I have.  I always say "oops"
     at first.  See, I figure if I say it at the beginning, I won't
     ever say it during.  But you're doing perfect.
JG:  Thank you.
KA:  Great to meet you.  [She winks at DH as she leaves, DH smiles.] ...
     ["I Second That Emotion" is playing in the background.]
JG:  Ready?  Couple more, she's done.
DH:  Looking good, Jeff. [He dares call him "Jeff"!--after calling him
     an ass, "Jeff" probably doesn't sounds so bad. :-)]
JG:  Fire ... Off.  She's perfect.
DH:  Nice work.
JG:  So... I'm an ass?
DH:  I... meant ass... in a good way.
JG:  OK.  [Smiles his crooked grin.]

Geiger is in the park feeding the pigeons when Shutt walks up:

AS:  Hey.
JG:  Hey... How'd you know I was here?
AS:  Well, when you leave early, where else to you go?
     You poisoning 'em?
JG:  Not tonight.  [AS sits down on the bench next to JG.]
     When someone calls you an ass, you think they could mean it in
     a good way?
AS:  It's possible.
JG:  They probably mean it in a bad way though, don't you think?
AS:  Yes, that would be the more likely of the two meanings.
JG:  She started today-- the new CT surgeon, Austin.
AS:  Uh huh.
JG:  Supposed to be good-- half my salary.  Think they're trying to
     tell me something?
AS:  If they were, would you listen?
JG:  You always answer a question with a question?
AS:  Does that bother you?
     [JG smiles as he continues to feed the pigeons, cooing.]
     I'm ... leaving Camille.
JG:  Camille know?  [AS shakes his head.  They both sit silently on
     the bench as they look out across the lake.]

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