Great Geigerisms 2.1
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Memorable Mandy Moments/Great Geigerisms
Geiger is sitting in his office with his feet up on his desk. He
is dictating an operative report into a tape recorder when Kronk
and Hancock enter:
BK: Hi Jeffrey.
JG: Hey, what's up?
DH: Can I steal your Cooley supplement for about an hour? I got
somethin' I want to look up.
JG: [gesturing to the edge of the desk] Sure, it's right there.
[He continues to dictate his notes as the two doctors try to exit.]
Hey, why ya need it?
DH: Got a case. Just wanted to look up some data. [They try
again to leave.]
JG: Hold on. What kinda case?
DH: [reluctantly] 26 year old female, hands and feet swollen,
lungs keep filling up with fluid.
JG: And you're in here with your library card? You better get her
on to something...
DH: Got her on digoxin already.
JG: She also needs a diuretic if her lungs are filled with
DH: Cardiology said she's completely stable.
JG: Then what the hell's the big emergency?
DH: There is no emergency, Jeffrey. I just wanted to borrow a book.
DH: Can I just have the book?
JG: I'm just curious.
DH: She said she was vomiting her breakfast a few days ago. I
just wanted to rule out renal failure.
JG: Renal failure? You [???] kill me. A patient can't hold down
a waffle, you go around screamin' renal failure.
DH: Nobody's screaming, Jeffrey.
JG: You [???] a beach, you look for zebras? How the hell did you
get renal failure?
DH: Her blood work up showed metabolic acidosis.
JG: That could be a couple of different things.
DH: At toxic levels. Hypokalemia, [hypernutrimia?] and elevated
B.U.M. What else could that be other than a kidney?
JG: Look it up. Don't come running to me for your diagnosis. You
kids always want the short cuts. You [???] doctors. Look up
the data and learn.
DH: That's a good idea.
JG: You always come to me for the answers. That's the problem.
Young docs are lazy today. Look it up. [DH and BK laugh as
they exit.] What's so damn funny, huh? [To himself] What is
so damn funny? [re the operative report] I don't know where
I was, so I'm goin' back.
Camille is in Jennifer's room when Geiger walks in:
JG: [agitated] What!?
CS: Pulse is almost 200. She's Hancock's patient, but he's with
a gunshot in ER.
JG: She's on digoxin. Get another dig level.
CS: Digoxin is not having any effect.
JG: She's [???]. We gotta bring her down.
CS: Jeffrey, she's been spiking after the V-injection. I think
another shot could put her into arrest.
JG: I'm more worried about total heart failure, Camille.
CS: She's holding at 200.
JG: Give the injection.
CS: I think that could be dangerous.
JG: Fine. A penny for your thoughts. Mine are more expensive.
Give her the injection. [He walks out.]
CS: I'm sorry, no.
JG: [turns around] What!?
CS: I can't give her any digoxin. Her level's at 2.3. She's a
JG: I said give her the injection.
CS: I won't.
JG: [Seething, he administers the injection himself.]
[leaving] Page me if she dies.
Geiger rushes into Watters' office:
JG: I want Camille Shutt discharged immediately. [Sees PW's
bruised eye, backsteps.] What the hell happened to you?
PW: Left hook, dropped my hands.
JG: What, boxing? You're Chief of Staff. You're a doctor. You
have to know what a belt to the head does to your brain.
PW: The trick is to do it to the other guy's brain. And what's
your beef with Camille?
JG: It's insubordination. She flat out refused to carry out a
direct order when I told her to.
PW: This isn't the military.
JG: No, it's a hospital. When a doctor says to give a patient a
drug, it's not for the nurse to say no. It is not a nurse's
place to overrule and that's what Camille did in front of
PW: Of coarse. Should I bother to hear her side first?
JG: She doesn't get a side when it comes to diagnosis. That's my point.
PW: All right, 4:00 I'll hear you both.
JG: I'm not feeling appeased, Phillip.
PW: I'm crushed. I live to appease you.
[He pats JG on the back with his folders as he walks out.]
In Watters' office that afternoon:
CS: What happened to your eye?
PW: Boxing. Let's turn to why--
CS: You actually box? Isn't that a little... not smart?
PW: There is a much higher rate of injury with skiing or hockey.
Kronk plays hockey. Some doctors drive racing cars.
JG: Would you just cut to it-- she usurped my authority, she
should be suspended.
CS: In my opinion, the digoxin...
JG: You don't get an opinion. Nurses don't get opinions?
PW: All right, all right.
CS: Phillip, I have no doubt that his prescription was by the book,
however, sometimes it helps to have some familiarity with the patient.
JG: I know the patient, thank you.
CS: Really? What was her name?
JG: [hesitates a little] Details. Ask me somethin' relevant.
[Hancock walks in.] Busy, get out.
DH: Excuse me. You're talking about my patient.
CS: That doesn't necessarily make it relevant.
PW: All right, what's the situation?
DH: What happened to your eye?
PW: [agitated] Some doctors skydive for God's sake. I mean,
driving a car statistically puts you at greater risk. It's my
personal time dammit! I can do what I want with my personal
time. You got a problem with that? [They shake their heads.]
DH: I guess not.
PW: What about the patient?
DH: It's electrical. She needs an ablation.
CS: What about digoxin?
DH: Can't help, could possibly hurt.
JG: It wouldn't hurt. It could at least serve as a stop gap and
even assuming it's electrical, the fact is the digoxin didn't
hurt, did it?
CS: Probably because of your soothing bedside manner.
PW: All right, it seems that this is a gray area. In fact, it
seems Camille was right. But in the future, you damn well
better pick your spots because the next time you defy a
doctor, turn out to be wrong, you are gone, forever and ever,
no negotiating, you'd be done, understood?
CS: Actually, it's not understood. I would expect a fair hearing.
PW: Doesn't anybody knock?
DN: What happened to your eye? [PW glares at him.]
DH: Uh... I'd ask another question.
DN: I'm sorry to intrude, but there's a problem. A patient, Larry
Muldoon, was scheduled for a hernia operation and by mistake I
removed his appendix.
Geiger and Hancock are wheeling Jennifer down the hall:
Jen: I talked to my parents. They, like, can't believe you gonna
burn my heart to kill parts of it.
JG: Jennifer, I promise I'm gonna take good care of you.
[Apparently he took the time to find out her name :-)]
If not, you can get a second opinion.
Jen: Don't talk like you care about me. You don't really care
about me. I don't think you're a nice person. I don't like you.
JG: Well, if you knew me better I'd understand your contempt.
Jen: Dr. Hancock says you're an ass.
JG: Well... he does know me.
Geiger meets with Shutt in the hall:
AS: Hey. Do you think you might have come to me on Camille before
going to Watters?
JG: I was afraid you'd agree with me. That would've put you in a
very tough position, right?
[Shutt leaves without commenting. Geiger sees Nyland sulking
at the desk. He walks over and leans on the desk.]
Hi. You screwed up ... Big! [JG walks away.]
Geiger spots Jennifer crying in her room and enters:
JG: I'm walking by and suddenly I hear tears.
Jen: Sorry, I just-- What if I die?
JG: No, you're not dying. Jennifer, look at me.
You're not dying. This time tomorrow, your heart'll be fixed
and this time Friday, you get discharged.
Jen: You make it sound so simple.
JG: 'cause it is.
Jen: [smiling] Thank you.
JG: You get some sleep. [He pats her on the head and leaves.]
Geiger and Hancock are performing the ablation. Among the OR songs
playing are "What Becomes of a Broken Heart" and "The Way You Do
the Things You Do":
JG: There's the affected tissue, right there. We're on it. OK,
get ready to fire.
DH: All set.
JG: Blast off ... Off. Amazing this could be good for a person.
[Kate Austin walks in.]
JG: Who are you?
KA: Hi. Kate Austin. I start today in cardiac surgery.
JG: Oh yes. I hear you're good. Nice to have ya. We'll talk
more at the mixer.
KA: I'm gone. I just wanted to say "hi" and get a peek at an
JG: Fire ... Off.
JG: Beg your pardon?
KA: Oh that's just a good luck ritual I have. I always say "oops"
at first. See, I figure if I say it at the beginning, I won't
ever say it during. But you're doing perfect.
JG: Thank you.
KA: Great to meet you. [She winks at DH as she leaves, DH smiles.] ...
["I Second That Emotion" is playing in the background.]
JG: Ready? Couple more, she's done.
DH: Looking good, Jeff. [He dares call him "Jeff"!--after calling him
an ass, "Jeff" probably doesn't sounds so bad. :-)]
JG: Fire ... Off. She's perfect.
DH: Nice work.
JG: So... I'm an ass?
DH: I... meant ass... in a good way.
JG: OK. [Smiles his crooked grin.]
Geiger is in the park feeding the pigeons when Shutt walks up:
JG: Hey... How'd you know I was here?
AS: Well, when you leave early, where else to you go?
You poisoning 'em?
JG: Not tonight. [AS sits down on the bench next to JG.]
When someone calls you an ass, you think they could mean it in
a good way?
AS: It's possible.
JG: They probably mean it in a bad way though, don't you think?
AS: Yes, that would be the more likely of the two meanings.
JG: She started today-- the new CT surgeon, Austin.
AS: Uh huh.
JG: Supposed to be good-- half my salary. Think they're trying to
tell me something?
AS: If they were, would you listen?
JG: You always answer a question with a question?
AS: Does that bother you?
[JG smiles as he continues to feed the pigeons, cooing.]
I'm ... leaving Camille.
JG: Camille know? [AS shakes his head. They both sit silently on
the bench as they look out across the lake.]
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