Great Geigerisms 1.8
Brought to you by Sue #2
Memorable Mandy Moments/Great Geigerisms
Death Be Proud
With golf club in hand, Geiger circles a car parked in his space:
JG: What the hell's wrong with these people, don't they know how
Ray Kadalski pulls up and notices the agitated Geiger:
RK: Hold on Jeffrey, hold on. You can handle this. You're doing
great. Now don't swing the club.
JG: I'm not gonna swing. I'm just holding the club.
RK: Right, but your holding it very close to the car.
JG: It's because it's parked in my space.
RK: We're not going to do anything irrational. First, we're going
to take a deep breath.
JG: I don't want to breathe. I want to hold the club.
RK: All right, just say this with me: I'm in control of my
JG: You know, it would be nice if you weren't here.
RK: Together please, I'm in control of my feelings. They do not
JG: That might be a lie, Raymond.
RK: All right, never mind. Try this: picture the first thing, the
most beautiful day you spent at Wrigley Field.
Geri Infante comes walking up:
GI: Don't even think about it.
JG: Yours? [Referring to the car]
JG: Should've guessed.
Raymond, you know Geri Infante?
RK: Oh, I've heard so many good things.
GI: How do you do?
JG: She was a med student during my fellowship. I believe she was
sleeping with the Chief ENT.
GI: No, the Chairman of Surgery.
JG: I later sent her a cancer patient for [??skyrovision??]. Tell Dr.
Kadalski about my patient.
GI: Grow a penis.
RK: I sense hostility here.
JG: Patient became neurotoxic with chemo, so she bounced one of
her checks. The good doctor, she got one of those collection
agencies. She chased the family down in the ICU.
GI: As if you personally interview everybody who collects your
RK: Do you really think we should be discussing this out here?
JG: What the hell are you doing here anyway?
JG: In my spot?
GI: [to RK] He's still upset that he never got to park in mine.
JG: I'll ask you again Geri, why are you here?
GI: I have a case. I'm also considering an offer to be the new
Chief of Plastic Surgery.
GI: We might be working together, Jeffrey. Happy days.
Geiger in Watters' office:
JG: Head of Plastics--Geri Infante.
PW: None of your business.
JG: I'll call [??Don Lopp in Palo Alto??]--get you someone who
donates time to [??interplasty??]. This woman represents everything
people loathe about doctors. How the hell can you even
PW: I'm considering the fact that a third of our beds are empty.
I'm considering the fact that managed health care has taken
over. Almost every HMO has taken us off their approved list
and we're either forced to reduce are costs ...
JG: Oh, here he goes, Chief of Staff, c'mon dance for me.
PW: You're damn right, here we go. You want to remain a teaching
hospital, Jeffrey? You want to keep getting the new
equipment? It costs money, money which you want plenty of
when you want to transpose the vessels on some indigent with
Down's syndrome. We can't do that unless we figure out a way
to generate more revenue. Expanding our Plastics Department
will do that. Geri Infante will fill our out-patient surgery
There's a knock and Infante opens the door:
GI: Excuse me. My nose was itching. Was someone using my name in
vane? [She escorts Mrs. Pertierra and her daughter, Juanita
into the office.] ...
This is Dr. Watters, Chief of Staff, who I told you about.
PW: How do you do?
GI: And this is Dr. Jeffrey Geiger. When he heard about your
daughter's cleft-palate, he personally insisted that she be
treated here. He is the most caring, loving, compassionate
surgeon I know.
JG: How do you do, ma'am?
Geiger questions Infante while scrubbing to operate on Juanita
Pertierra, who is experiencing severe back and abdominal pain:
JG: What are you doing standing there?
GI: I'm here to remind you not to bring your petty resentments
into the operating room as the egomaniac you are.
[JG flicks soap at her from his scrubs.]
JG: Don't you have a slide show to give? Why bother with trying
to save a life when there's so much self promotion to be done?
GI: That patient is yours in that room, not mine. And if she
dies, it's you who's gonna be ...
JG: Not me ... [As they continue to argue, Watters enters the room.]
PW: Hey, hey, hey. This is a surgical suite.
The girl just lost her b.p.
[Geiger rinses off and races into the OR]
JG: Cardiac needle.
You want an EKG read for protection?
JG: Just give me the needle. ... Get me 2 amps of bicarb-- we've
got a real Magilla here-- and some gloves ... magic ones
Geiger gets squirted in the eye with blood as he continued to work
on Juanita. He was unable to save her:
JG: She's blown out her entire aorta.
Time of death: 5:47.
Thank you all. [Leaves OR, ripping off his gown and mask.]
Geiger and Watters walking slowly down the hall:
JG: By the time we got that bleeding controlled, she blew out her
PW: I know you did everything you could. You OK?
JG: [puts his hands up] 12 yrs. old. Should have had some happiness
come her way. She was owed that.
PW: Yes she was.
[They both look on as Geri and Camille try to comfort Mrs.
Tough one, Jeffrey.
Geiger walks over and sits down near Mrs. Pertierra:
JG: Mrs. Pertierra, I'm so sorry.
MP: I know. I just ... I am grateful because of you, she died
with a proper smile. [Geiger glances at Geri.] May I see
her. I'd like at least one look at her new face.
JG: Could you ... could you excuse us one second?
Geiger and Geri go into a private area:
JG: She thinks the cosmetic surgery was done.
GI: What do we do?
JG: You got to tell her.
GI: Me? What about you?
JG: You're the doctor.
GI: No I wasn't, you were. I never got to be her doctor.
JG: Don't "Jeffrey" me.
GI: If you "Geri" me, I will "Jeffrey" you.
JG: She wants to see her daughter.
The woman came all the way from [??Algiers??] to see her daughter
GI: SHE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO DIE!
JG: Shhhh. Keep your voice down.
GI: NO! This is why I went into plastics. I don't want to have
to have patients die.
JG: Well this one did. You gotta tell her.
GI: Can we lie?
GI: Maybe we can tell her the cosmetic work was done. Jeffrey,
they came from a village where birth defects are considered
evil. If she dies with a deformity, she dies cursed. I don't
want that poor mother thinking her kid died ... Lets just say
the work was done.
JG: But she wants to see her.
GI: Let's just say there's a hospital policy against it. I don't
want to hurt her anymore.
JG: Geri, we can't do that. You know it. The woman wants to see
GI: All right. Let me handle it. I'll talk to the mother. Let
me handle it.
Geiger and Schutt are walking in the hall. Geiger asks him about
Karen Antonovich's increased morphine drip:
JG: Did you do it?
AS: I didn't do it!
JG: I believe you. Are you lying?
AS: I wouldn't be ashamed to admit it if I did it. I didn't do
it. All right?
Geiger spots Mrs. Pertierra sitting in the lounge:
JG: Mrs. Pertierra, can I help you with something?
MP: No. Thank you.
JG: Did Dr. Infante speak with you?
MP: No. I have not seen her. She sent a message that I should
wait until the coroner finished.
JG: Coroner. [Geiger leaves to find Geri.]
Geiger finds Geri performing corrective surgery on the dead girl:
JG: What the hell are you doing?
GI: I'm building a smile.
JG: You can get into a lot of trouble for operating on the dead.
I know. I've done it.
GI: Well, there's no point in doing a poor job and you're
JG: Could you use a hand?
GI: Yeah, I could.
Geiger puts on gloves and assists Geri ...
After showing Juanita's new face to Mrs. Pertierra, Geri and Geiger
walk out. Leaning against opposite walls, they silently look at
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