Great Geigerisms 1.19
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Memorable Mandy Moments/Great Geigerisms
Geiger, splattered in blood, is operating on John Sagonner, the man
whose leg was cut off with a chain saw by Kronk:
JG: He just cut it off with a chain saw?
DH: Had to.
JG: Lucky man, Mr. Whoever.
PW: Mr. Sagonner.
PW: He's not going to feel so lucky in the morning. You see he's
a football player, the Bear's third round pick. He's in town
for rookie camp. He's the kicker.
JG: You're serious?
PW: Yep. [Geiger laughs at the irony of it.]
Geiger is examining Allison, Nyland's patient and ex-girlfriend:
JG: Any pain here.
Al: No. Look, I used to be a nurse. I know how hospitals like to
keep their beds filled.
DN: Allison, you came to us remember, through the emergency room.
Al: Yes, sweetheart, but since you can't find anything wrong...
DN: I did find something-- acid in your urine.
JG: Excuse me. Ma'am, it is not normal to have chest pains and
hypertension on a weekly basis. That we don't know what your
ailment is, does not mean you're not sick. We need to run more tests.
Al: But I feel...
DN: You're not going to argue. [He kisses her.] I'll make sure
you get the good jello. [She kisses him back.]
[JG and DN leave Allison's room.]
Thanks for taking...
JG: What's with the kiss?
DN: We used to be together.
JG: Right, you're little nurse fetish. Schedule an MRI. These
symptoms-- who knows what she's got? Could be intercranial
lesions, something renal, even a primary cardiac abnormality.
She take drugs?
DN: Not that I know of.
JG: Well, ask the question! Do a toxicity test and stop kissin'
her. She's a patient now.
[JG leaves DN and bumps into Birch and Kronk.]
With a chain saw?
BK: Yeah, a chain saw. How's he doing?
JG: Critical. I think he'll make it, but he's kicked his last field goal.
AB: That isn't funny. I put out a memo regarding coarse humor in
public areas. Maybe you didn't get it?
JG: Yes, but I'd run out of toilet paper, I had to put your memo
to emergency use. Sharing that here was probably a violation
of your directive, wasn't it? Sorry, I'm chagrined. Let's
wipe the slate clean. You got another memo handy? [AB walks
away, as does JG in the opposite direction.]
BK: [Looking at JG.] Not respect.
Nyland and Geiger are arguing about Allison's diagnosis:
DN: I don't believe it.
JG: You asked me to get involved, so I'm involved ...
DN: I'm grateful. I'm just saying I think that your diagnosis is
a little bit from Mars. I see no evidence of a tumor. Show
me something from radiology. Show me anything...
[Allison is wheeled in.]
Al: Excuse me. What's the big fight?
DN: Dr. Geiger believes you have what's known as pheochromocytoma.
Al: Pheo... what?
JG: Basically it's a tumor that secretes adrenalin. Also known as
epinephrine causing the severe headaches and the high blood
pressure. Typically it's found in your adrenal gland.
DN: Except we can't be sure since X rays don't show anything.
JG: The catheterization shows your epinephrine levels in your
right renal vein are double to that in the left.
DN: I'll review the test results personally, Allison.
JG: I'll assist on that. [He winks at her and leaves.]
In the OR, operating on Allison:
JG: So you and this girl were serious?
DN: At one time.
JG: Still seeing her?
DN: No, I told you.
JG: First procedure since your fingers healed?
JG: [??????] this?
JG: Liar. Buzz this.
DN: She's gonna be fine.
JG: There's one adrenal gland otherwise as good as new.
Looking at the Allison's X rays:
DN: We got a problem.
JG: It could have been triggered by the procedure itself... by
DN: Pathology found no evidence of a tumor in the gland we took
out. And I just did a urine test and she's still putting out
DN: The tumor is still in her. It must be in the left gland.
JG: Well, how is that possible? It was the right which was elevated.
DN: You took out the wrong gland.
JG: I didn't take out the wrong gland. I was just assisting.
DN: Yeah, but you took it out and you said it was the right
gland and you were so proud of your diagnosis.
JG: It was your operation. Your malpractice, not mine.
DN: So why don't you take responsibility for your diagnosis, doctor?
In Allison's room:
Al: You have to operate again? [DN looks to JG.]
JG: Well, the tumor has to be in your left gland. I don't know why
the right would be elevated. The blood work definitely shows the
metabolites are still being produced. Since you had another episode...
Al: You took out the wrong gland? You promised me you'd take care of me.
DN: I will.
Al: What happens when you take out my other gland?
JG: We treat it with adrenal steroids.
Al: Oh my God.
JG: It's just that the tumor has to be microscopically small.
That's why it's not showing up on X rays.
Al: Danny? [JG leaves.]
Geiger meets Birch in the hall:
AB: Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you mean you have
to take out the other gland?
JG: [calmly] Please get out of my eyeline.
AB: How can this be? You took out the wrong side? [JG tries to
pass, but AB won't let him.]
JG: I'll ask you once more nicely. Please get out of my eyeline.
[AB won't budge.]
AB: How can a person live without either adrenal gland? This is
not a healthy way to live.
[JG feints left, then ducks and sprints to the right, around
AB and "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head" plays in the
background as AB stands alone in the hall.]
Geiger and Nyland walk into Allison's room:
Al: What's going on? Shouldn't I be getting prepped or something?
JG: See up there in the corner? There's a camera. It records
things that go on in the CCU. It's installed for the
patient's protection. We got some interesting footage today.
[DN finds a vial in her handbag.]
DN: Epinephrine 1/1000.
JG: [Walks to the head of Allison's bed and leans over.] That's
why the tumor didn't show up on X rays. You don't have a
tumor. You're a wacko.
In a bar after work:
DN: Maybe I should have seen it.
JG: She fooled all of us. She's a nurse, she has medical know-how.
And she's sick. Very sick. But a good kisser.
BK: [sitting down] Hey, sorry I'm late.
JG: Tell the truth, we were enjoying your absence.
BK: [to bartender] Beer please. [to DH] Um... I've been
thinking about stuff and you might be right, I'm sorry.
JG: Sorry about what?
JG: What nothing? He says sorry, I got a right to know. Sorry
DH: Drink your beer.
BK: Hey, where's the Eel? I thought he was gonna meet us here.
JG: I told him. Unless I said the Dugout. Maybe I told him...
No, I said the Puddle. I'm sure I said the Puddle.
[Next scene is Birch at the Dugout, sitting alone at a large
table with mugs and a pitcher of beer.]
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