Great Geigerisms 1.10
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Memorable Mandy Moments/Great Geigerisms
An anxious Nyland paces alone before Geiger walks in. Seeing
nobody but Nyland:
JG: What's going on? I get stat paged to OR 4. Where's the emergency?
DN: It's not an emergency, I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, but--
DN: Georgeann Tuckman. Remember, I called you in on a consult,
JG: I remember.
DN: And then we thought maybe the flu.
JG: I didn't think the flu. I thought it was some kind of virus
she probably snagged at the CDC.
DN: Yeah, well you were right, more right that you want to be.
She was just diagnosed in Seattle. Ebola Virus.
JG: How contagious?
DN: She was in day four when she was here.
JG: Oh my God. We touched her.
DN: I know. That's why I ran in here and paged you. If we were
exposed, we need to be quarantined. This was the closest
empty room I could get to.
JG: She was exposed in Atlanta?
DN: 10 days ago. It'll be 1 or 2 days before we know whether we
JG: (wheels spinning) Day 4, our hands were in her mouth--
DN: With gloves. It's airborne too--
JG: She was breathing right in our faces. (then) Who else
DN: Just the paramedics. They were quarantined at Cook County.
JG: All right. (a beat; taking charge) First off, this place is
officially sealed. You and I are gonna spend some time
together. Play cribbage?
DN: What's the progression?
JG: Not good. Seventy percent fatal. It's incurable.
DN: (trying to mask his fear) I'm sure ... I'm sure we didn't
JG: I'm sure you're right.
Geiger stands at the glass window, Watters is on the outside
looking in. Both on phones, talking to each other. Officials from
the CDC are sealing off the entire corridor area.
PW: I'll be back on the phone with Atlanta in 20 minutes.
Meanwhile, we've set up a command post in our lab. I don't
want you leaving this area.
JG: Don't worry. Do me a favor, when you talk to CDC, find out if
they got any plasma from survivors, in case we need transfusions.
PW: That's premature.
JG: Just ask the question, also find out the efficacy of IV
interferon. I read once where it was tried. And get me a
PW: (re DN) He OK?
JG: He'll live. Maybe.
Geiger heads back to Nyland:
JG: OK, first the bad news. We got ourselves a beauty. This
virus wiped out entire tribes in Zaire and Sudan. It probably
came to the U.S. through a monkey. Maybe this is my payback
for killing the baboon.
DN: Gimme the good news.
JG: The woman was here on day 7, not day 4. That makes her less
contagious. Also, the virus does not spread easily. Odds we
got it, low.
DN: How long before we know for sure?
JG: Coupla days. We gotta do our own blood work. It's too risky
to bring in another doctor. You married?
JG: Figures. Girlfriend, anybody you've been sharing intimate
breathing space with, if so--
DN: Oh no.
JG: Yeah. Make the call. (extending phone) Man or woman?
[Nyland punches the numbers on the phone, while Geiger tries
to listen in over Nyland's shoulder.]
The door opens and Camille is shoved in. Geiger is both shocked
and privately amused to see Camille.
CS: (to DN) What have you given me?
JG: (to CS) You slut.
CS: What have you given me?
DN: I've been exposed to a virus.
CS: We used a condom for God's sake, two of them.
DN: It's airborne, the kissing is just as dangerous.
JG: Maybe you didn't kiss. Did you pause--
CS: Please don't joke. I'd appreciate you not making jokes.
They said it could be fatal.
JG: (sympathetic) Camille, it's just a precaution. As a
CS: Look. Can we just say... (to DN) I really don't want it put
out there that, you know, you and I were... out of
sensitivity to Aaron--
JG: He knows.
CS: He knows I had sex, but he doesn't know with whom.
JG: Well, what's the difference?
CS: It'll make a difference.
DN: Look, let's just say you were in on the examination of the
Tuckman woman and you were exposed that way. There's no need
to add to the drama here.
CS: Can we do that, Jeffrey? Please.
The doors open and Nurse Maggie Atkisson is shoved in. She glares
daggers at Nyland.
MA: (to DN) What have you given me?
DN: (weakly) I've been exposed to a virus.
CS: (to DN) You pig.
JG: Busy pig.
MA: What have I got? (DN ushers MA to the side)
DN: Hopefully nothing. But I need to be quarantined. Which
unfortunately includes the people that I've been with.
JG: Do we need a bigger room?
DN: (on edge; to JG) Could you be someplace else?
JG: It's just that I need to order food. Should I be expecting
DN: Not from me.
Aaron Shutt gets shoved in:
AS: Where did you get it, Camille?
AS: Never mind, Aaron. They're saying we got to be isolated for
two full days.
JG: Hey look-- Don't get yourself all--
MA: (deep fear) I feel nauseous. I could throw up. We are going
to die. I just took this job, now I'm exposed to a deadly virus--
DN: (going to her) Take it easy...
CS: (sharp; to DN) Don't you touch her. You've done quite enough.
AS: What's that supposed to mean, Camille?
JG: (taking control) Hey. Everybody, stay calm. As of yet,
nobody has manifested any symptoms. The likelihood is we're
all completely safe. We'll do the blood work, remain
isolated, in a few days it'll be behind us. In the meantime,
(to MA) hey, nothing is served by panic. Everybody, just call
the people that need to be called, if you haven't already done
so. Otherwise, just sit back and stay calm. Everybody, stay
Dr. Thurmond is the next to enter the room:
AS: (to MA) You gotta be kidding me.
MA: Don't look at me.
JG: (to DN) You little brown nose.
DN: I didn't touch him.
Thurmond then looks at Camille and all eyes then pounce on her:
CS: It's not what you think.
AT: We shared a stick of licorice. Red. The chewy kind.
AS: Were you two... together?
JG: I can't picture that. Which is a blessing. I get vasovagal.
AS: Quiet! I want to hear this.
CS: We weren't together.
AT: Licorice. Red.
CS: Stop it.
CS: I have to tell them, Arthur. Like you said, it was nothing, so--
AT: (pointing to JG) He'll make it something.
CS: No, he won't. (then; to the others) Dr. Thurmond passed out
last week in the research lab. I thought he stopped breathing and--
AT: Which I didn't. I just fainted. It was hypertension, that's
all. Nothing more.
CS: I thought he wasn't breathing and I started giving him mouth-
to-mouth. That's why I thought maybe if I had the virus,
maybe I'd exposed him.
JG: You're having fainting spells and you're going into the OR?
AT: You see? Told you he'd make something of it.
JG: Damn right I am. What if you go face first into somebody's
AT: Oh don't be ridiculous.
JG: (wheeling on Camille) --how the hell can you stay silent.
His episode could cause a patient to die.
CS: I stayed silent because he told me it was one isolated
incident and I knew you'd be quick to try to take away his
And now they all start to argue at once:
JG: (to AT) How long have you been having these blackouts?
How dare you put your patients at risk. What other
symptoms have you been suffering?
AT: It was just one and I never stopped breathing. She was
mistaken. Don't be making a mountain out of this.
AS: We really don't need you two yapping at each other.
Suddenly the door opens and Watters is ushered in:
JG: Am I the only one in this hospital not having sex?
A while later:
PW: All right everybody, pay attention. I don't want to say it
twice. Our period of incubation will be over by Friday. If
we haven't developed symptoms by then, we're clear.
CS: What are the symptoms?
PW: Could be like the flu. Fever, headaches, abdominal pain. Or
could be worse. Nosebleed, rash.
JG: With all that's been going on, somebody must have a rash.
PW: This is not a funny situation.
JG: Oh, I lost my head.
Later, as Nyland prepares a sandwich, Shutt gives him a sniff:
DN: What are you doing?
AS: You smell familiar. (Camille pounces in to shift attention.)
CS: Hey, I have an idea, Phillip. Your Christmas party was
scheduled for tomorrow night. Why don't we have it right
CS: We're all together, we can have it here instead of your house.
AS: (suspicious) Why are you acting like that?
CS: Acting like what?
AS: Like you act when you're hiding something--
CS: I just want a Christmas party, a little holiday spirit.
What's so wrong with that?
AS: You're acting the way you act when you get nervous, and
I think you got nervous when I started smelling him.
AT: (to PW) What are they yapping about?
PW: I don't know.
JG: (happily) I do.
CS: Never mind!
Later, Schutt looks at Nyland and sniffs again:
DN: (deadpan) Please don't sniff me.
CS: (heading this off) Aaron, may I see you in the scrub room,
AS: Certainly. (and they exit to the scrub room)
JG: This could be worth the price of the virus right here.
(to DN) I bet you'd like to be a little fly on that wall.
DN: (getting fed up) Your seniority aside, there's only so much
disrespect I'll take from you.
MA: (to DN) You were with her too?
DN: It doesn't concern you.
MA: Before or after me?
DN: Never mind.
PW: (to MA) Was I before or after him?
MA: After, but I don't know if I was after her because if I
wasn't, then it could be her to him to me to you. I don't
know where the mouth-to-mouth comes in, and I heard something
about a monkey.
AT: I'm confused.
JG: The monkey wore a condom.
Camille and Shutt are arguing in the scrub room. Thurmond and
Geiger are watching them through the glass:
JG: (to AT) She's gonna fake to the left, go back up the middle.
I saw this on a PBS special. That's not friendly body
language. See those little specks of spit coming out of her
mouth. That's hostility.
AT: That Nyland fellow slept with them all?
JG: I believe so, yes.
AT: And I get sued for asking a girl to lunch.
As Camille and Shutt continue to argue, Shutt turns away to see
Thurmond listening in with a glass to the window. Shutt bangs on
AS: Haven't you got something else to do?!
Shutt then storms in:
AS: This is not a sideshow put on for your benefit!
AT: It certainly is. It's a circus, started by Mr. Penishead over
DN: Hey, you know what. I'm sick and tired of being pimped by
everyone here for no other reason than being young.
AT: You think it's terrible being young, try getting old.
AS: (to DN) You give new meaning to the word pimp.
DN: Excuse me?
AS: (re DN) Get him out of here!
JG: (ushering) All right, come on.
AS: (pointing his finger at JG) Hey, hey, hey! Get your hands
off me. You know, you're not the only person with a license
to go nuts around here, Jeffrey. You keep your hands off of me.
JG: All right. All right.
AT: (to JG) His finger was right there. (why waste an
opportunity?) You could've bitten him.
AS: Dr. Thurmond, why don't you go in the corner and faint?
AT: (to PW) This is a horrible Christmas.
JG: (to CS) What were you saying to him?
CS: (escalating frustration) It's none of your business, Jeffrey.
It's always been none of your business.
JG: Well, if it affects this hospital, it becomes my business--
CS: (erupting) Enough with the good of this damn hospital!!!
AS: (to JG) Lay off my wife, will you?
JG: She's not your wife-- she's your significant ex-other.
If she were a real wife, she'd be creaming you for alimony.
The tension has only increased. Geiger and Atkisson are at the
piano, singing "Something stupid." Nyland is walking with a tiny
AS: Is that a real tree?
DN: What do you think?
AT: Why don't you smell it?
JG and MA: (duet)
And if we go someplace to dance,
I know that there's a chance you won't be leaving with me.
And afterwards we jump into a quiet little place and have a
drink or two,
And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid
like, "I love you" ...
Watters, staring at Geiger and Maggie with slight contempt that
only this type of corny song can evoke:
PW: Stop the music. (JG continues--not hearing him over MA's
singing; PW then whistles) STOP THE MUSIC! (JG stops abruptly)
Maybe we should send for Ray Kadalski. I know that fear of
death can make people agitated, and the way we've been acting, perhaps--
DN: It has nothing to do with fear of death, sir, in this
environment, fear of living could be more stressful.
JG: What a profound thought. It should come with bubble gum.
DN: Go to hell. (off JG's look) Maybe that came out of fear of
JG: Fear of getting fired should be more of a concern.
PW: All right, that's enough. Look, obviously this little group
has a few demons to exorcise. Maybe there's an odd blessing
to this quarantine. Since we're all stuck in here together,
why don't we put this to some therapeutic purpose.
AT: Now I'm going to puke.
PW: (strict) This is an order from your Chief of Staff. Now,
everyone has immunity. There's no threat of retaliation. You
have stuff on your mind, say it now. Mr. Nyland, you seem
particularly motivated, you start. Go on, go on.
DN: Well first off, I don't believe for a second the part about no
retaliation. (re JG) He likes to grind my stones for sport.
God help me if I should antagonize him.
JG: All right then, let me start. (simply; in one breath)
Complaint number one, there isn't a single resident in this
place with any stones. They're all obsequious, cowering
little sycophants who'd rather suction my drool with their
tongues than stand up to me. (to DN) OK. Your turn now.
DN: All right, I'll go. Jeffrey Geiger breads malice, oozes
contempt, and until he finds some peace with himself, is a
liability to this hospital. Dr. Thurmond, the legend. If
only he cared as much about saving his patients as he does his
AT: You say that again and I'll sue you.
DN: Dr. Watters, gifted hands, great mentor. But tolerates his
(indicating JG) childishness and forgives his (indicating AT)
waning skills. You send the message that the surgeons come first.
PW: I have never sent that message.
CS: Yes you do, Phillip. It is all about the surgeons in your
department. You coddle them. (re JG) How on earth could he
get away with the way he acts without your tacit approval.
JG: Hey, how's this about me?
CS: This is also the most blatantly chauvinistic institution I
have ever seen. It's a boy's club and if a woman surgeon ever
gets ahead here, it's because she acts like one of the guys.
JG: That's crap. Name me one woman surgeon who shares that opinion.
CS: Karen Antonovich--
JG: Dead, doesn't count. Name a live one.
CS: You see that? Look what goes on here. During a bypass, he
comes on to Winslow with a toilet fetish!
JG: (what's the problem?) She accepted.
CS: In surgery, he hits on women with hey, I'm prone to sexual
harassment, here I come and gets away with it. Dr. Thurmond
fires a nurse then asks her on a date. He's already being sued.
AT: I have motion to dismiss pending.
JG: What, these women lack the capacity to say yes? Now there's
an argument for equality.
CS: These women know to get along, you go along.
AS: Is that why you ended up with Dr. Nyland? (That stops her.
A chilling beat, until--)
JG: Interesting query. I'd like to hear the response.
CS: (no intention of backing down) You want my response,
Jeffrey. I'll give it to you. The chauvinism in this hospital
is so pervasive, it killed my marriage. I lost my husband to
another man. That man is you.
JG: I beg your pardon?
AT: Are they homosexuals, Phillip? Not that they don't have
rights. They throw a lovely parade.
CS: They're not gay, Dr. Thurmond. They're just best friends.
The camaraderie of the surgeons, the male bonding, I just
couldn't compete with it.
AS: Well, there is an excuse that shatters all records.
CS: (to AS) It's true. Anything fundamental that happened to you...
call Jeffrey. Something torturing you, you couldn't wait
to tell him. I slowly became an accessory, Aaron. We both
know that. Somebody to hand you a scalpel at work and a
napkin at home.
AS: Well once again, Camille, you manage to locate blame in the
most convenient places. Maybe I started talking to him
because you stopped talking to me.
CS: No. With every day you lived within these walls, this veil
went up, and after a while I just couldn't pierce it anymore.
I couldn't reach you as my husband. I promise, it was you not
me, cause you don't know how I cried over it. And I'd see you
with him, the way you share and laugh... I lost you to him.
(struggling; to JG) All this anger I've had at you. The
truth is I probably owe you an apology. I mean, much of my
disgust you deserve. Your behavior is usually repulsive. But
a lot of my anger... (weakly) I'm jealous. I wish he loved
me the way he loves you. And I'm jealous.
After Thurmond and Shutt speak their mind:
JG: All right, is it my turn to speak? It really feels like my turn.
JG: Thank you. First, let me say how sorry I am for you people.
What with the homeless and the stuff happening in Bosnia and
even the patients I see everyday, I lost sight of the true
victims in society, which happen to be you. Starting off with
the unfortunate Dr. Nyland. Yale-bred, silver-spoon stuffed
deep into his esophagus, he now has to treat sick people while
the people here aren't nice to him. I should say the senior
surgeons aren't nice, the nurses seem to be extremely supportive.
DN: This is exactly what I'm talking about.
JG: Problem is, I'm talking now. This is a hospital. This is not
a company that likes to gives points for treating the
personnel well. This is by necessity a cruel place. We bust
your ass to make you a better doctor, and you know what, you
might one day be the best doctor. It doesn't change anything.
Cause as soon as you're not, this place will be just as cruel
all over again. You don't believe that-- (pointing to AT) --
you ask him. You wanna be treated nice, you go work at
WalMart. (to CS) And you. Blaming this hospital for killing
your marriage, blaming me. Grow the hell up. As cruel as
this institution is, marriage is a much tougher one. It takes
work, it's a lot of work, lady. And even if you work as hard
as you can every damn day there's no guarantee your wife won't
snap and drown your child anyway. Bottom line, he loves you,
more than life. Trust me on that. Maybe it's not enough to
make it work but it should be enough to prevent you from
walking out the door. And I will not apologize for me loving
him, or him loving me. That's probably my deepest joy. (a
beat; to AS) And you. As much as I love you, I'm getting
tired of your moping. You wanna complain, heck, that goes for
all of you. We could go to work in a bank, sit pleasantly
next to our co-workers for forty years and never know 'em. We
come to this place, we see each other raw every day, our guts
are hanging out. That's not misery, that makes us lucky. I
don't give a damn how much tumult and antagonism there is.
That's life, we're deep into it every day and I feel lucky to
be here. I'm not buying into any of your despair. Go see
what's out there. Talk to your patients. See what real
people are up against. And then complain. You're a bunch of
spoiled babies, every one of you.
(a beat; that cowed them)
DN: You know that was a very impressive speech, Dr. Geiger. You
could almost make us lose sight of the real truth that you
cause most of the antagonism around here and it doesn't make
us feel lucky at all. I have no doubt you feel good about
yourself, that's pretty obvious. But that doesn't change the
fact that you're the most hated surgeon in this joint and some
of us other doctors have to pick up the people you leave in
pieces. (That really hurts JG but he tries not to show it)
JG: (covering his hurt) Is that what you do with your nurses,
A while later, suddenly Thurmond seizes a little and sucks air:
PW: Get him up! Get him on the table.
DN: I need an eighteen gauge needle and an IV set-up. (The
doctors kick into motion as PW holds AT's hand. Various
people are barking)
JG: (taking charge) Let's take his pressure! Get a monitor on
him right now! C'mon, let's go, let's go. Gimme scissors.
Here you go.
DN: A tourniquet, Maggie.
PW: (to AT) Just stay calm, just stay calm.
JG: Somebody get ready to hang some nitro.
PW: You'll be OK, Arthur. You lay calm, now. Just lay calm.
Nyland's taking blood. Geiger is hooking up the EKG:
AT: This is not necessary.
JG: Yes, you keep saying that. I have these funny rituals when
people have heart attacks. (to DN) May I see the read-out,
Doctor, and I hope that wasn't too harsh.
DN: Bite me.
CS: Grow up.
JG: Trying to maintain a reputation.
AT: How fitting that I should die in this hospital.
JG: You're not going to die, Doctor. Too many premiums would go
AT: If I do die, Phillip, I want you to speak at my funeral. It
was always my hope to speak at yours.
PW: I appreciate that.
DN: All right, Doctor. One more for blood gas. Just inhale
normally. You're doing fine. (The situation under control,
Geiger peels away, heads for the scrub room. Watters sees
JG: I'll monitor this, but we may be looking at an angioplasty.
PW: OK. (a beat)
JG: True, Phillip? I'm the most hated guy here?
PW: (quiet honestly) Well, with Hackett dying...
JG: (vulnerable) I don't need to be loved by everybody, I admit.
But to be hated. That's not a goal either.
PW: Well, hate is sometimes just misplaced fear.
JG: All these profundities and still no bubble gum. (a beat;
humbly) I'd love to be a resident again. I'd love to have
somebody backing me up. Nobody's backing me up, Phillip.
That's not easy. I'm alone. They got people coming in behind
them. Nobody comes in behind me. No, no, no. They think
it's easy, it's not. It's not easy.
Meanwhile, Nyland is checking Thurmond:
DN: Dr. Thurmond? Dr. Thurmond? He's going into shock. Dr.
Geiger. Dr. Geiger.
(And suddenly AT goes into arrest. They all spring into
action. Monitors beeping, AT is motionless. JG charges in.)
JG: Probably having an inferior MI. Got it.
(Hands going everywhere. Rapid movement. AS immediately
has a stethoscope on him.)
Nyland, get some dopamine and isuprel! Tube him, Phillip!
(JG performs close chest massage.)
AS: His lungs are wet!
JG: We gotta do a bypass. Somebody get an anesthesiologist in here.
PW: We're losing him.
JG: I gotta go in!
PW: I'll do the anesthesia.
CS: Do you know how?
PW: I know how, let's go! He's fibrillating, c'mon.
JG: Keep ventilating!
PW: It's Christmas!!
JG: Paddles! (AS already has them)
AS: Clear! (He jolts AT; JG puts on gloves)
JG: Hit him again.
AS: Again. Clear! (Another shock)
DN: No. He's flattening out.
MA: What about masks?
JG: Get the saw.
AS: Forget it, we've already broken the field.
(JG starts to cut)
PW: It's Christmas, Arthur!! Hark the herald angels sing ...
Christmas!! (JG is cutting away with the saw.)
AS: Get the hell in there, Jeffrey!!
JG: I'm getting there. Retractor! (And the Yawkeney Retractor is
thrust into place and JG is cranking away.)
PW: Arthur Thurmond, you stay here!! (And JG's hands are now
inside AT's chest. He massages the heart.)
JG: More isuprel, c'mon. (massaging) Paging Dr. Thurmond.
C'mon, Arthur. This muscle feels good.
PW: We get nothing.
JG: C'mon, Arthur, c'mon... c'mon. I got my hands in your guts.
If you got that virus, I could get it. I don't want it to be
for nothing. C'mon! C'mon!!!
PW: (finally) He's converted back.
JG: There you go. (There are relieved sighs and smiles throughout.)
PW: (to AT; with emotion) You old fart. When you wake up, I'll
kill you for this. I'll kill you.
AS: That's a good pulse. He's stabilizing.
JG: (to DN) Doctor, put your hands in and keep pumping him.
DN: I got it.
JG: Do it gently.
DN: I got it.
DN: I got it.
JG: Then, let's get ready to put him on bypass.
OK, let's get the equipment over here.
Geiger starts to sing "Something stupid" while the others hum:
I know I stand in line until
I think you have the time to spend an evening with me.
And if we go someplace to dance,
I know that there's a chance you won't be leaving with me.
Maggie starts to sing along--loud and off-key--that everyone
And afterwards we jump into a quiet little place and have a
drink or two,
Everyone joins in:
And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid
like, "I love you."
Two hours later, they're sweat-soaked. Geiger and Nyland are
running the show.
PW: Where are we?
JG: (inspecting) No more bleeders. Ready to close. (then)
Camille, take ten, you've been here too long.
CS: I'm OK.
JG: Rest. Atkisson, step in. (MA steps in as CS goes into the
Do not puke on this patient.
DN: (to MA) Suction here. Right over there. Good.
JG: (sotto; to PW re DN) This kid's good.
PW: (sotto) Why don't you tell him that.
JG: (sotto) Not a chance. [DN glances at PW]
Camille and Aaron have reconciled in the scrub room. They embrace
and kiss as Geiger enters the room:
JG: (cynically) Hey. What're ya doing, c'mon. He's off bypass.
Did it without you.
AS: (weakly) We're getting back.
JG: (stunned) What?
AS: You heard me. Go ahead, say something smart. (JG just
stares back. He wanted it almost as much as AS did.)
JG: (genuine) Thank God. That smart enough? (then; to CS) So
I get to be nice to you again?
CS: I could use it.
JG: So could I. (JG kisses CS)
(heartfelt) Welcome back, Camille. Welcome back.
Everyone is dozing. Except for Geiger who's alone, softly playing
"Silent Night" on the piano. Thurmond wakes up.
PW: It's all right, Arthur. I'm right here, right here. We had
to do a bypass, but everything went fine.
AT: Who did it? Not Penishead.
PW: Dr. Penishead assisted, but Geiger did it. You'll be up on
your feet in a week. You can expect a full recovery.
AT: What about the virus?
PW: Still no symptoms. I think we're OK.
AT: Speak for yourself. It's been a terrible day.
(The nerve center of this place may indeed be a little insane but
the brilliance of it is inescapable, so is the humanity. Pan to
Geiger softly playing piano. Still alone. After the surgery, post
heroics... he always ends up alone. Off him, staring blankly.)
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