Alan "The Eel" Birch (Peter MacNicol)
Alan Birch is the hospital lawyer whose job is to prevent lawsuits.
For his incredible talent at this job, he is nicknamed "The Eel."
He often wonders about getting respect. He had been dating the
cop who had booked Geiger on soliciation charges, although she
"owes him a few calls." He recently adopted a baby girl, Alicia,
with congenital heart defects.
10 April, 1954 (Dallas, TX)
Marsue Cumming (approx. 1986), the executive director of the 52nd Street
Project, a theater program for homeless children. No children.
- Attended the University of Minnesota.
- Favorite color: blue-green (teal)
- Loves model trains.
- Is 5'8"
- Is currently working on Mel Brooks's "Dracula: Dead and Loving It,"
as Renfield, the diabolical sidekick
- Read an AOL transcript of an on-line talk by
Peter MacNicol, November 29, 1995.
"Your Honor, I am not a toad..." to Judge Aldrich
"You're ruining him!" -- to Infante, referring to Geiger
"That's not respect."
"It was a very big gun."
"Why is my helmet fogging up? They've given me defective equipment...
Your helmet doesn't fog. Are you breathing through your nose? I'm
blinded Phillip. Phillip? This is unacceptable." -- Birch
"One other thing: Judge Aldrich has the attention span of an autistic
gnat." -- Birch to Watters
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Last updated May 13, 1995