Alan "The Eel" Birch (Peter MacNicol)

Character description:

Alan Birch is the hospital lawyer whose job is to prevent lawsuits. For his incredible talent at this job, he is nicknamed "The Eel." He often wonders about getting respect. He had been dating the cop who had booked Geiger on soliciation charges, although she "owes him a few calls." He recently adopted a baby girl, Alicia, with congenital heart defects.



10 April, 1954 (Dallas, TX)


Marsue Cumming (approx. 1986), the executive director of the 52nd Street Project, a theater program for homeless children. No children.

Previous Roles


Best Lines:

"Your Honor, I am not a toad..." to Judge Aldrich

"You're ruining him!" -- to Infante, referring to Geiger

"That's not respect."

"It was a very big gun."

"Why is my helmet fogging up? They've given me defective equipment... Your helmet doesn't fog. Are you breathing through your nose? I'm blinded Phillip. Phillip? This is unacceptable." -- Birch

"One other thing: Judge Aldrich has the attention span of an autistic gnat." -- Birch to Watters

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Last updated May 13, 1995