Had a brief, but revealing talk today. The subject: what are you doing? With your life... with all the gifts you've been given? I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing... and I'm even less sure why. I THINK my calling is computers... and music. But that could just be me trying to fit myself into society. Is that REALLY my calling? Will I be happy doing that for the rest of my life? How will that make an impact on this world? How will that make me a servant to my Lord?
So I'm more than half way done with my MS program here at Stanford now. I've been singing in Testimony, making friends, doing Wushu, TA'ing, taking classes... but why? Why am I doing everything? The answer I don't want to admit... for myself? Am I singing in Testimony just to make myself think I'm serving Him through music? Am I doing Wushu for pure fun? Am I making friends so that I won't be lonely? Am I TA'ing just for the money? Am I taking classes for the grades/degree? What happens with the rest of my life? Should I just go on living my life just like any other person, Christian or not?
We Christians are to be salt for the earth, but I think I'm losing my saltiness. I gotta find my way back again... find out where I am, how far I've strayed from the path, re-orient myself, and get back on it.
Please pray for me... for spiritual focus.