Wow... I've been delinquent. That's what happens with finals and stuff. I'm so glad to be done. It's been a hectic year. Not that it hasn't been fun. It's been a blast. But I've had enough stress for now. Time to go home and relax! I'm goin' to Disneyland! And I'm goin' home! Gonna party, work, play sports, sleep, get sun... it'll be great. And I'll have some time to think about what I wanna do after next year.
I managed to postpone thoughts about my future and "the rest of my life" by goin' to grad school for a few years. But now I gotta face the same fears again. What am I going to do with my life? Am I ever gonna find that special someone... and if so, when? Would I really be satisfied with a 9-5? How is that fulfilling? What AM I doing with my life? I'm 23... nearly a third of my life on earth has passed... and what do I have to show for it? Some decent musical skill, a bachelor's degree, and a lot of confused thoughts. I'm sure God's got some plans for me somewhere, but looking at my life from my position, I don't know where to go. I've essentially been on auto-pilot for quite a while... from being a kid... going through grade school, then college, then grad school. Can't keep it up for much longer. It's time I took the reigns... manned the plane myself.
But taking initiative also supposes you have a direction in mind... somewhere you want to be. Problem is, I'm happy where I am... I don't wanna grow up... I'm only taking steps as necessary, once the previous footholds give way. I need to figure out God's vision, and my own vision for myself.
So... that's about it for now. Last entry from Stanford b4 I head home. Gonna get a little rest, hopefully. Projected departure time: 6am. Yeesh. Well, pray that I stay awake. =)
"Love melts the coldest heart, calms the raging fury. It fills the bottomless pits of the despairing and lonely, with but a smile, a hug, a word unsaid."
Felt inspired. =)