I've been doing some thinking lately, and I really don't know why I'm keeping up an online journal. So that I can vent? Well, it's not that often that I need to. And I can easily do that by chatting with a friend or singing to the radio.
It is useful as a tool for my friends to keep track of me, I suppose. But, if they're really my friends, shouldn't they ask me directly? Scratch that idea.
Maybe all this is is an attempt for me to get attention. It's funny. You grow up with everyone telling you you're smart. And everyone keeps re-iterating that. And everyone knows it. But they talk about it nonetheless. And then they start forgetting about the other aspects of you. Ok... so I'm smart. So what? there's stuff going on in my life too. I have thoughts and feelings going through me too, just like any other person. Sometimes, being branded smart just isolates you from everyone else. And that sux.
Spiritual life has been quiet once again. I'm delving into C. S. Lewis's Mere Christianity, and that's been re-assuring, even enlightening. But my heart's just refusing to be open right now, for some reason. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm down in the dumps again. Just kinda in limbo... not sure how I feel about anything or anyone. It's good to be steady, but it's really bad to be stagnant. And my life's been like that for some time now. Well, minus the lows.
Well, I'm heading off to Catalina for the weekend. Should be fun! Gonna go with cousins and stuff too, so we can go play around. I totally need to get out more... get more sun. Maybe that'll warm up my spirits too. See y'all on the flip side!