One Liners, sort of...

• ...Every morning is the dawn of a new error...

• For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.

• The beatings will continue until morale improves.

• I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

• Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.

• Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

• Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

• A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

• I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.

• Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie|'... till you can find a rock.

• Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way.

• If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

• If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.

• It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.

• Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.

• Budget: A method for going broke methodically.

• Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.

• Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

• Do witches run spell checkers?

• Demons are a Ghouls best Friend.

• Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.

• Department of Redundancy Department

• Headline: Bear takes over Disneyland in Pooh D'Etat|

• What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.

• Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.

• 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.

• Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

• My software never has bugs. It just develops random features

• C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL

• C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN

• BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding

• Access denied--nah nah na nah nah|

• Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename|"

• As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

• Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)

• Backups? We don' *NEED* no steenking backups.

• ... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

• Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny

• An error? Impossible| My modem is error correcting.

• Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.

• Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?

• RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.

• Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...

• Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....

• Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...

• ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI|

• Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

• "640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981

• DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS

• Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS

• Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE|

• Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...

• Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven.

• REALITY.SYS corrupted: Reboot universe? (Y/N/Q)

• Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)

• Hit any user to continue.

• I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control|

• If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.

• Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.