People who like red tend to be tigers in the sack. They are easily aroused and enjoy sex in every way imaginable. Once the sexual spark is lighted, it may take hours to extinguish. When two reds get together, the ensuing erotica would make Lady Chatterly blush. Lovers of red tend to be the aggressors and weaker colors should beware!


Lovers of purple frequently consider themselves too regal for a fun romp in the sack. Women sometimes are the type who hate to muss their hair. Men are businesslike in their approach to lovemaking. In both sexes, purple partners are more concerned with their fulfillment then anyone else's gratification.


Black color preferences point to black sex. These people are the misfits of the sex world and seek each other in kinship. They tend to prefer perverted sex and are usually masochistic or sadistic in nature. They are moody people and often perform at their peak when under stress or during unhappy times. Police psychologists claim that many sex offenders prefer the color black. And it is no coincidence that the uniform of mobsters and teenaged gangs is black attire.


Those who prefer green are fresh and innocent in their approach to sex. Women who love green will make love like virgins all their life. And a man may also be a trifle clumsy and awkward, but in a charming and endearing sort of way. Green lovers are gentle but not passionate. If chosen as a mate, one will never need worry about infidelity.


Persons who like pink show a reluctance to mature in sexual matters. Women tend to tease; to promise more than they intend to deliver. In some cases, they flaunt their femininity - but because they secretly hate men. A great percentage of prostitutes boast entire lingerie wardrobes in pink. Men who like pink are the type who will make three dates for the same evening and not keep them, preferring to pick up a dish in some bar instead. Pink indicates a tendency to squander money.


Lovers of the color orange lean toward sexual fantasies. The sex act is regarded as a dramatic role, a one act play in which they are the star. Foreplay is as important as the act of love. They whisper sweet nothings, meaningless dialogue they feel fits their image. Orange people often do not experience orgasm - but they put on a damn good act. Men tend to pull their partner's hair and women tend to leave welts on their sex partner's back!


Sex is a 24-hour a day thing to them. They tend to say "I love you" often enough. Snuggling by the fire, walking in the rain or catching snowflakes on their tongue ins a turn-on to a lover of brown. They need lots of time and privacy to make love. But their emotions are such that one harsh word could end an affair.


The color gray is preferred by people who are indecisive. They can't get excited about anything - including colors - so they choose a noncommittal shade. Men who prefer gray look at sex as a means of relieving tension - nothing more nothing less. It's "wham, bam, thank you ma'am". Women don't make love, they have intercourse. They count the cracks in the bedroom plaster until the sex act is over with and done. When a gray marries another gray, the marriage is made in heaven. But when teamed with another color, the gray spouse considers the other's infidelity a blessing.


Lovers of blue are wonderful sex partners. They are sincere, affectionate and sensitive to their partner's needs. They consider lovemaking a fine art and their approach is elegant. Men who love blue are like concert pianists; delicately ravaging their partner like they would play a baby grand. Women in the blue category enjoy sex to the fullest. They are exciting partners but their passion might be compared to tidal waves rather than fiery aggression. Both men and women enjoy Foreplay and the aftermath of lovemaking as much as the act. In marriages, a blue person is a wonderful mate - never failing to please the spouse and never seeking outside interests.


If you tend to favor yellow, your sexual drives are complex and lean toward the adaptable. The favorite color of homosexuals is yellow! but don't panic - not everyone who wears yellow is queer. In most cases the person will accommodate to the stronger partner's desires in a passive manner. You will never enjoy sex to the fullest, but you will never turn down an invitation from someone you enjoy or admire.

The Unnatural Enquirer, (C) 1990 by Trygve Lode ( May be reproduced and distributed freely in unmodified form on a noncommercial basis provided this notice remains intact.


Last updated Wednesday, March 15, 1995
Jonathan Dufour (