YOUR FAVORITE COLOR IS THE KEY TO YOUR SEXUAL LIFE
RED
People who like red tend to be tigers in the sack. They are easily aroused
and
enjoy sex in every way imaginable. Once the sexual spark is lighted, it may
take hours to extinguish. When two reds get together, the ensuing erotica
would
make Lady Chatterly blush. Lovers of red tend to be the aggressors and
weaker
colors should beware!
PURPLE
Lovers of purple frequently consider themselves too regal for a fun romp in
the
sack. Women sometimes are the type who hate to muss their hair. Men are
businesslike in their approach to lovemaking. In both sexes, purple partners
are more concerned with their fulfillment then anyone else's gratification.
BLACK
Black color preferences point to black sex. These people are the misfits of
the
sex world and seek each other in kinship. They tend to prefer perverted sex
and
are usually masochistic or sadistic in nature. They are moody people and
often
perform at their peak when under stress or during unhappy times. Police
psychologists claim that many sex offenders prefer the color black. And it is
no
coincidence that the uniform of mobsters and teenaged gangs is black attire.
GREEN
Those who prefer green are fresh and innocent in their approach to sex.
Women
who love green will make love like virgins all their life. And a man may also
be
a trifle clumsy and awkward, but in a charming and endearing sort of way.
Green
lovers are gentle but not passionate. If chosen as a mate, one will never
need
worry about infidelity.
PINK
Persons who like pink show a reluctance to mature in sexual matters. Women
tend
to tease; to promise more than they intend to deliver. In some cases, they
flaunt their femininity - but because they secretly hate men. A great
percentage of prostitutes boast entire lingerie wardrobes in pink. Men who
like
pink are the type who will make three dates for the same evening and not keep
them, preferring to pick up a dish in some bar instead. Pink indicates a
tendency to squander money.
ORANGE
Lovers of the color orange lean toward sexual fantasies. The sex act is
regarded as a dramatic role, a one act play in which they are the star.
Foreplay is as important as the act of love. They whisper sweet nothings,
meaningless dialogue they feel fits their image. Orange people often do not
experience orgasm - but they put on a damn good act. Men tend to pull their
partner's hair and women tend to leave welts on their sex partner's back!
BROWN
Sex is a 24-hour a day thing to them.
They
tend to say "I love you" often enough. Snuggling by the fire, walking in the
rain or catching snowflakes on their tongue ins a turn-on to a lover of
brown.
They need lots of time and privacy to make love. But their emotions are such
that one harsh word could end an affair.
GRAY
The color gray is preferred by people who are indecisive. They can't get
excited about anything - including colors - so they choose a noncommittal
shade.
Men who prefer gray look at sex as a means of relieving tension - nothing
more
nothing less. It's "wham, bam, thank you ma'am". Women don't make love,
they
have intercourse. They count the cracks in the bedroom plaster until the sex
act is over with and done. When a gray marries another gray, the marriage is
made in heaven. But when teamed with another color, the gray spouse
considers
the other's infidelity a blessing.
BLUE
Lovers of blue are wonderful sex partners. They are sincere, affectionate
and
sensitive to their partner's needs. They consider lovemaking a fine art and
their approach is elegant. Men who love blue are like concert pianists;
delicately ravaging their partner like they would play a baby grand. Women
in
the blue category enjoy sex to the fullest. They are exciting partners but
their passion might be compared to tidal waves rather than fiery aggression.
Both men and women enjoy Foreplay and the aftermath of lovemaking as much as
the
act. In marriages, a blue person is a wonderful mate - never failing to
please
the spouse and never seeking outside interests.
YELLOW
If you tend to favor yellow, your sexual drives are complex and lean toward
the
adaptable. The favorite color of homosexuals is yellow! but don't panic -
not everyone who wears yellow is queer. In most cases the person will
accommodate to the stronger partner's desires in a passive manner. You will
never enjoy sex to the fullest, but you will never turn down an invitation
from
someone you enjoy or admire.
The Unnatural Enquirer, (C) 1990 by Trygve Lode (tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu)
May be reproduced and distributed freely in unmodified form on a
noncommercial basis provided this notice remains intact.
Last updated Wednesday, March 15, 1995
Jonathan Dufour (jdufour@cs.ucsd.edu)