================================================ The Official Usenet alt.tv.kids-in-hall FAQ List ================================================ Part 2: Episode/Sketch List for The Kids in the Hall ~~~~~~ See Parts 1, 3 and 4 of this FAQ (posted separately) for more information. Administrivia ------------- This FAQ would not be possible without the contributions of Kids in the Hall fans. Please see the complete list of contributors in Part 1 of this FAQ. Thank you to all who contributed! This FAQ is maintained by Drew Davidson (davidson@mercury.interpath.net). Please see the submission guidelines in Part 1 of this FAQ if you have corrections or submissions. This FAQ is written in the WWW FAQ Format by Thomas Fine. This format allows automatic conversion from text to WWW hypertext. [+] Indicates new or revised answers. See also summary of changes in Part 1 of this FAQ. Contents: ~~~~~~~~ Kids in the Hall Seasons Episode/Sketch List Who contributed to this FAQ? Copyright Information Kids in the Hall Seasons ------------------------ This info (opening sequences/copyright dates) was taken from the episodes aired on HBO and Comedy Central. These opening sequences may be different or switched around on other networks. Opening Sequence Descriptions ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ # Year Description = ==== =========== 1 1989 In a junk yard; fully-saturated colors; ends with troupe casting playful shadows onto the side of a truck. 2 1990-91 Filmed driving up Yonge (Dave); down Bay (Bruce); along Edward past the bus terminal (Kevin); and on Bloor W at St. George (Mark); mostly black and white; "Beaver" sign behind Mark when introducing troupe (gas station now demolished). 3 1991-92 Troupe introduced standing at two corners of Broadview and Danforth; other shots at one of the public swimming pools in Toronto; artificial pastel colors; stop-motion used when introducing troupe; Kevin does a slow peace sign in stop-motion 4 1993 In a club/bar with band (actually SMOASP) playing; Scott has longish hair 5 1994 Looks like a slide show/home movies with clips from bumpers of earlier seasons; mostly black and white; (the pregnant woman is Darlene, a friend of Scott's and Paul's (and the other Kids) shot on hi-8 by Paul Bellini) ------------------------------ Episode/Sketch List ------------------- NOTE: If you have a sketch list, or know of sketches that aren't in this list, please email or post!!! This section of the FAQ contains a list of episodes of The Kids in the Hall, with the sketches that were on each episode. The episodes are listed by season, and the source the episode came from is noted. The sketches are listed as follows: Melanie's Date (MK)(2): Melanie has a date over (Melanie) +------------- +- + +---------------------- +------ | | | | | +- Sketch Name | | +- Sketch Description +- List of Recurring | +- Season Number Characters in the Sketch +- Kids in the Sketch B = Bruce M = Mark S = Scott D = Dave K = Kevin P = Paul Bellini all = all 5 - = no Kids Sketch descriptions also may contain an identifying quote. If anyone has any better names (including canonical ones) for these sketches let me know. Sketches with numbers mean that they are part of a running bit in a show (e.g. "Hotel La Rut"). Slashes ("/") mean that one sketch runs into the next. Shows are listed in random order within each season. Some of the shows may be list in the wrong season -- I think CBS used the "Season 3" opening sequence for shows that weren't originally aired in that season. Shows in seasons 3 and 4 are very often edited by Comedy Central, so they may not appear as listed here. Some recurring sketches, for example "It's a Fact", "Whores", "Thirty Helens Agree", and "Police Department" are not formatted as above unless it is an unusual version of the sketch (for example, Police Department Car Chase). * means that the sketch name is official, usually taken from the credits of the episode or titles in the sketch itself. (###) means the episode has been verified as being a complete episode actually shown on the network listed. (---) means the episode is probably an edited collection of other shows This Sketch List now lists well over 600 sketches contained in over 80 episodes of KITH. +-----------------------==> SPOILER WARNING <==----------------------+ | Although an effort has been made to avoid *major* spoilers for the | | sketches, some of the sketch descriptions do contain spoilers!!!! | +------------------------------------------------------------------------+ [???? PLEASE EMAIL ANY SKETCHES NOT LISTED HERE ????] First Season (1989) (Comedy Central) (###) Dawn of the Dead (KSMD)(1): silly parody of the movie Attilla the German Gay Lover (SMB)(1): Attilla and his lover have a spat Thirty Helens Agree Fire at Business Meeting (all)(1): fire at a business meeting at A.T. & Love (Danny Husk) Gunfighter (D)(1): once shot a man just to watch him die (Gunfighter) Like Romeo and Juliet (B)(1): the lovers that were like Romeo and Juliet Thirty Helens Agree Barbershop* (all)(1): Clem tells stories in the barber shop (Comedy Central) (###) Boo! (SD)(1): the author of scary books Leslie the Vampire Fag (MS)(1): Leslie has a friend over (Brad) Comedy Sketch with Just a Middle (KDBM)(1): a comedy sketch premise I Don't Have Enough Money to Pay for This Cab (MKS)(1): head crusher's friend comes over (Mr. Tyzik) The Darcy Pennell Show* (KDS)(1): the Darcy Pennell Show -- ugly women's fashion (Darcy Pennell, Brad) (Comedy Central) (###) [sketch "No Regrets*" ????] Lonely City (MKDS)(1): what's happening in the lonely city Businessmen Networking (BMSD)(1): Gerald and Gerald network at a business party (Gerald, Gerald) Lopez 1 (M)(1): man calls out for Lopez outside of a house Fat Hitchhiker (DK)(1): man gives a "fat" guy a lift Lopez 2 (M)(1): Lopez continued The Donut Shop (KMBS)(1): man criticizes donut shop customers Killed by a Lamp (K)(1): man who has to call the wife of a man who was killed by a lamp Lopez 3 (M)(1): Lopez continued Becoming an Indian Woman (DSM)(1): boy who has decided to become an Indian woman Lopez 4 (M)(1): Lopez continued (over credits) (Comedy Central) (###) Salt Confiscator (all)(1): "security guard" complains about hoopla Bad Straight Man 1 (KD)(1): vaudeville act with bad straight man Two Brothers and the Sister (MSB)(1): the drunk brothers come over at 3am Farmer with a Tail (M)(1): the story of a farmer One Step at a Time (DS)(1): taking things one clinging, jealous step at a time Think I'll Go Eat Worms (BK)(1): "Nobody Likes Us" guys sing on a bus (The "Nobody Likes Us" Guys) Bad Straight Man 2 (KM)(1): vaudeville act with bad straight man part 2 The Moon (MBD)(1): three guys sit on wall and discuss the moon (Comedy Central) (###) Editors 1 (SK)(1): book editors discuss what to cut Stop the World -- We Broke Up/ (BDM)(1): song about Bobby's breakup (Bobby, Bobby's Mother, Bobby's Father) Editors 2 (SK)(1): editors discuss what to cut Sold the Land (M)(1): story of a man and his father Life-After-Death Guy (DK)(1): the guy with the life-after death experience The Cat (all)(1): the life of a cat, with the cat jazz band Teacher's Secret Affair/ (DSK)(1): boring teacher has affair during class Editors 3 (SK)(1): editors discuss what to cut (Comedy Central) (###) [sketch "Crazy Love*" ????] Cutest Boy on Death Row (DBKM)(1): girls discuss cutest boy on death row (Melanie) Blues Man Wannabe (M)(1): the faux blues man from Vermont The Women-Lovers (BD)(1): the men who love all women Buddy on a Desert Island (SD)(1): Buddy stranded on a desert Island (Buddy) Cop Impersonator (KSM)(1): drunk guy pretends to be a cop Blonde Mechanic (KBMS)(1): the mechanic with the beautiful blonde locks Baby* (DBM)(1): a babyless couple talks to mother in the park (Comedy Central) (###) [sketch "Hey Baby*" ????] Barking Guys at Bar (DBM)(1): guys are bar bark at women Shark Hunter Brothers (KM)(1): island-native brothers discuss manhood Death of Rock (BD)(1): Bobby and teacher discuss the death of rock (Bobby) Pick-up Artist with Tarantulas (SM)(1): the pick up artist (Melanie) Girlfriends Leave the Country (KD)(1): guys party when girlfriends leave Monique the Pyromaniac (DSM)(1): Monique the pyromaniac is fired (Comedy Central) (###) Simultaneous Phone Calls (?)(1): two girls call each other simultaneously The Eradicator (all)(1): the masked squash player Ballet School (MK)(1): the cruel ballet school teacher Businessman Head Crusher 1 (all)(1): the head crusher crushes businessmen's heads (Mr. Tyzik) Cause of Cancer (DB)(1): KITH discovers the cause of cancer Pear Dream (all)(1): man wakes up from the pear dream Kathie the Mean Mistreater (BM)(1): Kathie & Mississippi Gary talk about their relationship (Kathie, Mississippi Gary) Businessman Head Crusher 2 (M)(1): head crusher continued (Mr. Tyzik) (Comedy Central) (###) Hotel La Rut 1 (all)(1): hotel where everyone's in a rut Parachuter's Odds (all)(1): parachuters wonder about the odds Hotel La Rut 2 (all)(1): hotel continued First Poem (BDM)(1): Bobby -- angered by world -- writes first poem (Bobby, Bobby's Mother????, Bobby's Father????) Flether Christian (D)(1): not the real Flether Christian Hotel La Rut 3 (KSB)(1): hotel continued Surprise Party (all)(1): Nena from Joymakers makes a surprise party at A.T. & Love (Nena, Danny Husk) (Comedy Central) (###) Die in that House 1 (D)(1): man explains how he's going to die in that house Cathy & Kathie & the Temp (SBM)(1): Cathy & Kathie gossip about Tanya (Cathy, Kathie, Tanya) Die in that House 2 (DS)(1): continued from above Preacher Character (M)(1): Mark's preacher character Confidante to the Stars (SM)(1): Weston discusses the stars (Weston Esterhazy, Virgil) Die in the House 3 (DK)(1): continued from above Teddy Bear Picnic (BSD)(1): father tries to put his kid to sleep with a story (Comedy Central) (###) How did this happen? (M)(1): man wonders how did this happen Cathy & Kathie -- Is He or Isn't He? (all)(1): Cathy & Kathie wonder if the new guy is gay (Cathy, Kathie, Secretary, Tanya) Thirty Helens Agree Bass Player (BK)(1): a tribute to a bass player Thirty Helens Agree Compensation (BMSK)(1): workmen explain how compensation works Thirty Helens Agree Buddy's Bar -- Canadians (S)(1): Buddy discusses Canada (Buddy) (Comedy Central) (###) Love Me* (MB)(1): guy cooking steaks; guys runs up Stinky Pink (KMS)(1): Fran's friend Barbara explains to her son about her separation and new hair color (Fran) Premise Beach 1 (KDSM)(1): A comedy premise on premise beach - people who shouldn't run for office Big Crouton (B)(1): the story of the big crouton Pole Vaulter Olympic Tragedy (KMD)(1): tragedy at the olympics Premise Beach 2 (KD)(1): People with gift heads Gay Entertainers (KDS)(1): A monologue from Scott Fly on Face (M)(1): girl leaves guy because of fly on his face (Comedy Central) (###) Lost Drum (KM)(1): man screams about his lost drum Head Crusher Outside Club 1 (MKS)(1): head crusher crushes heads outside a club (Mr. Tyzik) Relationship Negotiations (MB)(1): businessmen negotiate relationships (Gerald, Gerald) Granpa's Poo (all)(1): family at dinner talks about Granpa's poo Are ET's Dull? (DSKM)(1): exploration of the question "Are Extraterrestrials Dull?" If Elvis Were My Landlord (all)(1): Bruce wonders what it would be like if Elvis were his landlord Head Crusher Outside Club 2 (MK)(1): head crusher continued (Mr. Tyzik) (Comedy Central) (###) Thirty Helens Agree Man's Chest Colonized by Spain (all)(1): a comedy premise Thirty Helens Agree Cabbage Head on Date (BKS)(1): Cabbage Head goes on a date (Cabbage Head) Impromptu Tractor with Kids (M)(1): impromptu tractor formed with children Sarcastic Guy (KD)(1): the guy who can't help being sarcastic Buddy's Bar -- Race Relations (S)(1): Buddy discusses the races (Buddy) Thirty Helens Agree Having Your Period? (all)(1): guys discuss how they want to be women (Comedy Central) (###) Kathie's Turning Over! (all)(1): Kathie turns over (Kathie, Cathy, Ms. Ferguson, Secretary???, Tanya????) Billy Dreamer 1 (KM)(1): Billy Dreamer talks to his boss Folk Music (D)(1): a discussion of folk music Who's Gay...* (SM)(1): Weston Esterhazy and Virgil discuss who's gay in Hollywood (Weston Esterhazy, Virgil) Billy Dreamer 2 (KBD)(1): Billy Dreamer dreams while watching TV with friends Scora the Gentle Shark (all)(1): the legend of Scora, the gentle shark (Comedy Central) (###) Deja Vu! (SB)(1): guys fighting in alley, one gets deja vu Apollo the Rude (KSM)(1): rude guy ruins some friends' evening out The Daves I Know Song (BD)(1): Bruce sings about the Daves he knows Guy with the Good Attitude Toward Menstruation (D)(1): talk about menstruation Let Me In! (KM)(1): man fighting with wife demands to be let into the house Timmy (SB)(1): Timmy tries to console his mother & father Sick of the Swiss (SM)(1): the guy who is sick of the Swiss The Country Doctor (SKDBM)(1): the leisurely country doctor comes to save the farmer (Comedy Central) (###) Thirty Helens Agree Apathetic Burglar (SDK)(1): apathetic burglar robs apathetic homeowner Running Faggot Song (all)(1): the song of the running faggot Twenty-nine Helens Agree How Businessmen Relax (DKSB)(1): tense businessmen go to the gym to relax Truck Owner (M)(1): the story of a truck owner (Bobby's Father) Stray Businessman (all)(1): kid brings home a stray businessman (Comedy Central) (###) Ping Pong Guy 1 (M)(1): the annoying ping pong watcher's commentary Pre-Vacation Family Blowout (SBD)(1): the family blowout before the trip (Fran, Gordon, Brian) Ping Pong Guy 2 (M)(1): the annoying ping pong watcher Chain Gang (MKD)(1): guy from the chain gang is recognized in restaurant You Don't Like Us 1 (DKS)(1): the "Nobody Likes Us" Guys try to get a loan ("Nobody Likes Us" Guys) Buddy's Bar -- Dinosaurs (S)(1): Buddy talks about dinosaurs bad manners (Buddy) Ping Pong Guy 3 (M)(1): the annoying ping pong watcher Interracial Couple (DSKM)(1): white girl brings home a black boyfriend to meet her parents You Don't Like Us 2 (DK)(1): the "Nobody Likes Us" Guys continued (Comedy Central) (###) Hired Gun Concession Stand (D)(1): gunfighter that runs a concession stand (Gunfighter) Gorilla (DSK)(1): slapstick sketch about guys attacked by gorilla Ignore Them 1 (all)(1): man harassed by guys on the street Citizen Kane (KD)(1): friends have a dispute about the name of a movie Modern Hero (M)(1): story of a modern hero told by guy in an alley Ignore Them 2 (all)(1): family harassed by guys continued Salty Ham (BS)(1): Gordon complains about Fran's salty ham (Fran, Gordon) Ignore Them 3 (all)(1): funeral goers harassed by guys concluded (Comedy Central) (###) What is the Fat Man Doing Across the Road Song (MK)(1): the fat man song Pie-Eating Contest Love (all)(1): Nena and husband find out how their friends met (Nena, Nena's Husband) Thirty Helens Agree "Nobody Likes Us" Guys on a Date (DK)(1): the Nobody Likes Us guys on a date in a restaurant (Nobody Likes Us) Buddy's Bar -- Canadians (S)(1): Buddy discusses Canadians (Buddy) The Real Buddy Holly (KM)(1): what Buddy Holly was really like Thirty Helens Agree Dr. Seuss Bible (all)(1): a presentation of the Bible as written by Dr. Seuss Second Season (1990-91) (Comedy Central) (###) Police Department Phone Sex (SM)(2): guy calls phone sex and gets Chicken Lady (Chicken Lady) It's a Fact Children's Novelist (KDS)(2): story of a guy who writes children's books Police Department Evan the Shoe Salesman (BS)(2): Evan the intense shoe salesman (Evan, Satan, Murray) Faggot -- it is the Letters (S)(2): maybe it's the letters that makes people so frightened of the word "faggot" It's a Fact Blues Man Heckler (MD)(2): Mississipi Gary is heckled (Mississippi Gary) It's a Fact (M)(2): neighbors in love for 45 years Suicide Note (all)(2): the Kids visit Bruce as he recovers from his suicide attempt (Comedy Central) (###) I Don't Think He Has the Report (BMK)(2): man coughs up the report in a business meeting Pit of Ultimate Darkness 1 (KDM)(2): the hypnosis attempt (Pit of Ultimate Darkness) Mr. Heavyfoot Runs a Marathon* (D)(2): (Mr. Heavyfoot) Jazz Hater (B)(2): Bruce hates jazz Pit of Ultimate Darkness 2 (KDM)(2): hypnosis attempt continued (Pit of Ultimate Darkness) Touch Paul Bellini Winner (MP)(2): announcement of the Touch Paul Bellini contest winner (Paul Bellini) The Affair* (KBMS)(2): story of the secret affair (Darryl) Mr. Heavyfoot Test Drives a Car* (D)(2): (Mr. Heavyfoot) The Kafuffle* (SM)(2): Buddy and the Queen's correspondence (Buddy, The Queen, Prince Edward) (Comedy Central) (###) Lady is a Tramp* (DS)(2): man tries to befriend a whore (Jocelyn) Businessman in a Slump (DMB)(2): Gerald is in a slump (Gerald, Gerald) The Guy Who Speaks English (S)(2): thinks everyone should speak English (English-Speaking Guy) [Lady is a Tramp*] (DS)(2): man proposes to the Lady (Jocelyn) [NOTE: not actually aired in this show] Gavin and the Chair-Painting Guy (BM)(2): Gavin pesters a guy painting a chair (Gavin) Singing Philanderer (KB)(2): philanderer sings a song in a western bar Lady is a Tramp* (DSK)(2): Lady is a Tramp 30 years later (Jocelyn, Rudy) (Comedy Central) (###) Talentless Lounge Act (KD)(2): horrible lounge act sing a song Birth of a Nation* (SDMK)(2): birth of a nation: fascism, democracy, etc. I Got Fired Today (SBD)(2): Gordon is fired (Fran, Gordon, Brian) Police Department The Man Whose Nose Bleeds At Will (all)(2): the freak show (Chicken Lady) Police Department (SM)(2): Officer talks to Tony Baldwin from Surf Cops (Police Department) Money Momentum (BM)(2): the money momentum seminar (Money Momentum Guys) Hang Ten You're Booked (SB)(2): Tony Baldwin, actor on Surf Cops Liposuction (all)(2): the liposuction song (Comedy Central) (###) Guess Your Weight (DK)(2): guy who can guess everything but weight First Date (MB)(2): Nena's first date with a guy -- "skip the..." (Nena) Message to Math Teachers (SB)(2): the message to the old math teacher Leslie the Vampire Fag (all)(2): Leslie saves a guy from fag bashers Paranoid Worker (KM)(2): worker who keeps a list of his office enemies Scott Thompson (SD)(2): The Scott Thompson show by Scott Thompson Amnesiac Restaurant Customer (BDS)(2): man in restaurant who can't remember who he is Cleaning-Men Whores (SB)(2): men whoring their maid service Cathy & Kathie -- Girls' Night Out (all)(2): the girls have a get-together and feast on cheesecake (Cathy, Kathie, Secretary???, Tanya) Eating in the Shower (K)(2): Kevin eats in the shower (during credits) (CBS) (---) Asleep on the Job (DS)(2): street worker asleep on the job Business-Suit Trappers (KDSM)(2): guys who trap businessmen for their suits (Francois, Jacques) New Development in the Sauna (DS)(2): the interesting development in the sauna (Danny Husk) Police Department (BMS)(2): (Police Department) Head Crusher Duel (MK)(2): the head crusher finds his nemesis (Mr. Tyzik) Men's Nipples (SK)(2): Danny wants his wife to pay more attention to his nipples (Danny Husk) Police Department Cathy & Kathie -- Is He or Isn't He? (all)(1): Cathy & Kathie wonder if the new guy is gay (Cathy, Kathie, Secretary, Tanya) Police Department -- Car Chase (all)(2): the Officers see some escaped convicts (Police Department) (Comedy Central) (###) Business-Suit Trappers (KDSM)(2): guys who trap businessmen for their suits (Francois, Jacques) Cabbage Head at a Restaurant (all)(2): Cabbage Head tries to seduce women in a restaurant (Cabbage Head) Firing Chris 1 (BS)(2): Chris is fired (Chris Belamy) Loner with a Stubbed Toe (M)(2): the loner ponders his gangrenous toe Firing Chris 2 (BDKM)(2): Chris is fired after five minutes (Chris Belamy) Pit of Ultimate Darkness (KDM)(2): proof of Hecubus's evilness (Pit of Ultimate Darkness, Satan) Firing Chris 3 (BKM)(2): Chris is fired in a police line-up (Chris Belamy) Buddy's Bar -- Sappho Sluggers (all)(2): Buddy manages an all-girl baseball team (Buddy, Shona) (Comedy Central) (###) What I Like About Spring (S)(2): what a man likes about spring The Friendly Couples (SMKD)(2): Nena's husband makes a "pass" at his old friend's wife (Nena & Nena's Husband) Trucker Businessman (M)(2): Truck Owner makes a phone call (Bobby's Father) Paranoid Undercover Alien (DSK)(2): undercover alien overreacts to innocent questions Best-Looking Man in the World -- Bim Bam Baby (-)(2): abridged version Bad Doctor (D)(2): the story of the really bad doctor (Doctor) Bobby vs. Satan -- Guitar Fight (DMB)(2): Bobby has a guitar fight with Satan (Bobby, Bobby's Mother, Bobby's Father, Satan) (Comedy Central) (###) Making Up the News (M)(2): news anchorman cracks up (Channel 7 News Team) Two Clearly Insane People (all)(2): Sizzler sisters' lounge act (Jerry & Jerry Sizzler, Channel 7 News Team) Kathie's Dream (all)(2): Kathie wins Miss Canadian (Kathie, Secretary???, Cathy) Not Allowed to Smoke in the Subway (SM)(2): two friends on subway platform Crying Anchorman (M)(2): sad news (Channel 7 News Team) The Phone: (-)(2): a phone rings Cucumber Salad on Face (BS)(2): executive has cucumber salad on face (Robert) The Phone (all)(2): phone rings incessantly (Jerry & Jerry Sizzler) The Phone Show/Touch Paul Bellini (all+P)(2): Touch Paul Bellini Contest (Paul Bellini) (Comedy Central) (###) The Heavy Pen (DK)(2): a reading of the new novel Animal Rights Commandos (BSM)(2): Humanoids for Humanism help animals (Humanoids for Humanism) Lost Hair in Restaurant (DSKB)(2): man loses his hair in a restaurant The Breakup (BM)(2): the amicable breakup turns nasty Wood Nymph (SM)(2): Buddy spots a wood nymph (Buddy) Bad Anecdote Guy (SMKD)(2): businessman -- "Good night! I'm joking!" Theo the Teacher (all)(2): Theo the cool teacher confides to his class (Bower) (Comedy Central) (###) Police Department Kevin Sleeping (K)(2): Kevin shows us how he sleeps Doug's Mistress (DSM)(2): women talks about her husband's mistress (Bobby's mother, Bobby's father) Stand in the New Style (SDM)(2): "Stand in the New Style" hip-hop song The Place They Call Vegas (BM)(2): on a faraway planet, son asks his father about the Place they call Vegas Jesus the Bad Carpenter (D)(2): proof that Jesus was a bad carpenter Police Department Bladder Support Group (all)(2): the support group for people that won't be tyrannized by their bladders (Comedy Central) (###) Nutty Bunnies (BMKS)(2): nutty bunnies frolick in a field Buddy's Bar (S)(2): Buddy talks about who's gay (Buddy) Darryl on a Date (MKDS)(2): Darryl has a blind date in a restaurant with a woman on the rebound (Darryl) Police Department Yes Dear (MD)(2): man with nagging wife and parrot Police Department I Don't Want it Now (all)(2): man at restaurant who wanted his bill five minutes ago Police Department -- Car Chase (all)(2): the Officers see some escaped convicts (Police Department) (Comedy Central) (###) Charged with Being an Asshole (BKS)(2): Bruce is charged in court with being an asshole Police Department Buddy in Prison 1 (S)(2): Buddy explains how he got put in prison (Buddy) Two Clearly Insane People Rob a Bank (KDB)(2): the Sizzlers try to rob a bank (Jerry & Jerry Sizzler) Police Department Chicken Lady (MDS)(2): the Chicken Lady gets a date to come to her apartment (Chicken Lady) Hash Dealers (K)(2): Kevin reports hash dealers to the cops Police Department Life's Greatest Moments/ (K)(2): man in bed discussing life's greatest moments Courtroom/ (BDMK)(2): life's greatest moments guy pleads not guilty Buddy in Prison 2 (BDMS)(2): Buddy also pleads not guilty (Buddy) (CBS) (###) Police Department Head Crusher in Physical Therapy (MBSK)(2): head crusher is injured and must undergo physical therapy to recover his head-crushing ability (Mr. Tyzik) Police Department Daddy Drank (KD)(2): the story of how daddy drank S&M Pair (BM)(2): the slave and master on the street Police Department Passed Out Guy in Office (all)(2): guy knocks himself out in a business meeting and stays unconscious for days S&M Pair (BM)(2): the slave and master again Gavin (BM)(2): Gavin pesters his mother while she's on the phone (Gavin, Gavin's Mother) Disillusioned-Parent Press Conference (DK)(2): disillusioned parents hold a press conference Beating Up Your Old Man (all)(2): the Kids discuss beating up their fathers (Comedy Central) (###) Mr. Heavyfoot Kicks a Ball* (D)(2): (Mr. Heavyfoot) Scott's Not Gay Anymore (all)(2): the Kids panic when they find out Scott's not gay anymore Melanie's Date (MK)(2): Melanie has a date over (Melanie) Mean Doctor (SD)(2): doctor who likes telling people hey have cancer The Poo Guy (B)(2): Bruce doesn't want to be known as the Poo Guy Mr. Heavyfoot Has a Date* (DK)(2): (Mr. Heavyfoot) Guy that Wants to Get Beaten Up (BDM)(2): guy on the subway platform who apparently wants to get beaten up Night of the Cow (all)(2): the story of the Night of the Cow Mr. Heavyfoot on the Moon* (D)(2): (Mr. Heavyfoot) (Comedy Central) (###) One of these Five Men Has Something Interesting to Say (all)(2): or do they? The Cincinnati Kid (all)(2): the Cinncinnati Kid looks for the Toronto Kid Career-Ending Moments in Show Business* (DK)(2): Leslie de Gaulle Trio -- anti-Communist folk singers Thirty-second Stories (B)(2): story about magnetic Joe Do You Have the Time? (DB)(2): woman misinterprets an innocent request for the time on subway platform Thirty-second Stories (B)(2): story of some kids and a dad going to the zoo Career-Ending Moments in Show Business* (DK)(2): woman makes a big mistake when accepting an award Relax with a Trip to the Farm (all)(2): businessman likes to relax with a a trip to the farm when things get hectic Cathy & Kathie -- Scandalous Weekend (SBM)(2): Cathy has a scandalous weekend when she goes to a bar (Cathy, Kathie, Tanya) (Comedy Central) (###) He's Gonna Give Away $1000 (MSB)(2): song in western bar Police Department Decorator Demon 1 (KDS)(2): man gets a demon to brighten up his apartment Head Crusher Duel (MK)(2): the head crusher finds his nemesis (Mr. Tyzik) Touch Paul Bellini Winner (MP)(2): announcement of the Touch Paul Bellini contest winner (Paul Bellini) Police Department Governor with the Hooker (KDMS)(2): governor talks with hooker in hotel room F-ing Good Ham (all)(2): Bobby accidently says a bad word in front of his parents (Bobby, Bobby's Mother, Bobby's Father, Bower) Decorator Demon 2 (KD)(2): demon continued (over credits) (Comedy Central) (###) Humanoids for Humanism Meeting/Cabbage Head 1 (BSM)(2): the Humanoids for Humanism plan to kill Cabbage Head (Humanoids for Humanism) The Chain Letter (DBK)(2): businesmen discuss a disturbing piece of mail Plunger Salesman (M)(2): man talks about a great plunger salesman (Bobby's Father) Cabbage Head Shot (all)(2): Cabbage Head is shot (Humanoids for Humanism, Cabbage Head) It's a Fact Impatient Guy in Line (DKM)(2): guy waiting in grocery store line impatiently (Melanie) Confidante to the Stars -- Spoon-head Party (S)(2): Weston Esterhazy's Hollywood spoon-head movie "Eliza's Party" (Weston Esterhazy) Cabbage Head 3 (BSM)(2): Cabbage Head talks about his religious conversion while on a talk show (Cabbage Head) (Comedy Central) (###) Playing Charades (all)(2): group of people play charades, when one has to leave... Gavin Pricing Meat (BKM)(2): Gavin prices meat in a butcher shop while his mom gets a makeover (Gavin, Gavin's Mother) Police Department Who's to Blame!?! (DKB)(2): boss looks for someone to blame for the bad weather (A.T. & Love Boss) Police Department The Tea Party (DSB)(2): two destructive guys have a tea party with their lady friend The Party -- How the Hell Am I Supposed to Know That? (DKMS)(2): man makes inadvertant inappropriate comments at a party Police Department Great Sex Phone Messages (M)(2): the man who has many answering machine messages that says he's good at sex Tube Top of Justice (B)(2): the story of the Tube Top of Justice Complicated Italian Movie with Francesca Fiore (SD)(2): man in a bar tries to explain a Francesca Fiore movie (Francesca Fiore, Bruno Puntz Jones) (Comedy Central) (###) Impotency Cured! (SMK)(2): man embarrasses his friend at a bar Cathy & Kathie & Decaf (all)(2): everyone in the office is exhausted (Cathy, Kathie, Tanya, Secretary???, Ms. Ferguson) Thirty-second Stories (B)(2): Tess & Lars, who built cars I Speak No English (DS)(2): the guy who speaks English meets a guy who claims to speak no English (English-Speaking Guy) Darryl the Big Brother (KMS)(2): Darryl spends time with his "Little Brother" (Darryl) Thirty-second Stories (B)(2): the office party of shame Two Years Late for a Date/Screw You Taxpayer (all)(2): bad sketch is a waste of taxpayer money Thirty-second Stories (B)(2): the Stones concert The Doors (BK)(2): man in record store thinks about getting a Doors album (CBS) (###) It's-a-Fact Girl and the Queen (S)(2): (The Queen) Message to Richard Nixon (BS)(2): a message to Richard Nixon Caffienated TV Tit-Watcher (D)(2): guy who watches for tits on TV America (B)(2): Bruce salutes America Politician Jam-Taster (MSK)(2): politician judge at a jam-tasting contest Girls Backstage at the Play (SBM)(2): girls backstage discuss the new play It's-a-Fact Girl and the Queen (S)(2): (The Queen) Arms in a Tank of Dead Fish (all)(2): guys who hold their arms in a tank of dead fish It's-a-Fact Girl and the Queen (S)(2): (The Queen) (over credits) Third Season (1991-92) Note that shows in this season are very often edited by Comedy Central, so they may not appear as listed here. (HBO) (###) Girls! Girls! Girls! (KM)(3): guy follows signs to find girls (Mr. Tyzik) The Marriages (all)(3): a woman's repeated failed attempts at marriage He's 45 1 (BD)(3): hip guy talks to his son (He's 45) The Thrift Shop (SMK)(3): Raj and Christine discuss the strange day (Raj, Christine) He's 45 2 (BDK)(3): hip guy and his family (He's 45) Sexual Harassment of Himself (MKD)(3): trial of the man who acused himself of sexual harassment He's 45 3 (BK)(3): hip guy's open relationship (He's 45) Stay Down! (BMKS)(3): Sid who won't stay down when losing a fight (Sid, Sharisse, The Queen) (HBO) (CC) (###) History of Boxing (KD)(3): innovation in the history of boxing Pizza Shop Lechers (MKD)(3): pizza shop guys lust after schoolgirls On the Subject of Me* (D)(3): on the subject of Dave Sid & Sharisse (BM)(3): Sid wonders if he is too small to love On the Subject of Me* (D)(3): on the subject of Dave The Agents (SMDB)(3): the agents try to get an actor a gig (Sudelmans) On the Subject of Me* (D)(3): on the subject of Dave Bald Man's Horrible Secret (B)(3): bald wig salesman has a horrible secret (HBO) (CC) (###) Poem by the Emperor of Japan 1 (M)(3): the emporer recites a haiku Gavin's Mother's Funeral (all)(3): Gavin attends his mother's funeral (Gavin, Father, New Mother, Murray) Poem by the Emperor of Japan 2 (M)(3): another haiku King of Empty Promises (KDM)(3): the "Will Do" guy borrows a videotape from Lex (Dean, Lex) Bruce on How to Break Into Show Biz (B)(3): Bruce explains how to break into show business Appendix Scar of Hate (MDK)(3): man has a disturbing appendix scar (Doctor) Poem by the Emperor of Japan 3 (M)(3): another haiku Scott Thompson's Perfect Man (all)(3): Scott describes his perfect man (Comedy Central) (###) Obnoxious Golf Guy (KD)(3): the obnoxious golf guy tries to make small talk Those Earrings are Mine (all)(2): guy tries to explain away his affair Flying Pig 1 (BDKM)(3): the flying pig at the bank line (Flying Pig, Darryl) Canada Abandons Monarchy (SM)(2): Queen tries to win back Canada (The Queen, Prince Edward) Flying Pig 2 (BKS)(3): the flying pig continued (Flying Pig) Awards Show (all)(3): the movie awards show Flying Pig 3/Police Department (BM)(3): (Flying Pig, Police Department) Ax Murderer (DK)(3): ax murderer tries to borrow an ax Flying Pig 4 (BMK)(3): the flying pig continued (Flying Pig) (HBO) (CC) (###) Police Department Captain Wonderful (DKS)(3): Captain Wonderful, Arms Longfellow, and the Winged Avenger at their hideout Don't Call Her 1 (BS)(3): man debates whether to call a potential girlfriend (Brad) Police Department Gay Home Alone Outfit (S)(3): Scott explains what gay boys wear when home alone Businessman that Just Stares (MKD)(3): the party with businessman that just stares unnervingly but has ulterior motives Don't Call Her 2 (B)(3): man and girlfriend have sex Exhibition Shirling (all)(3): an exhibition of shirling (HBO) (###) Celebrities Scott Thompson Looks Like (S)(3): the celebrities Scott Thompson looks like One Clearly Insane Person (DK)(3): Jerry Sizzler visits his now-cured sister (Jerry & Jerry Sizzler) It's a Fact (M)(3): Importance of Cleaning Ears After-Death Experience (M)(3): Mississippi Gary's song about his after-death experience (Mississippi Gary) Garbage Man Fan (BKM)(3): man who applauds garbage men It's a Fact Looking for Pot (all+P)(3): Bower goes searching for pot (Bower, Jocelyn, Satan, Bobby) (HBO) (CC) (###) Police Department Chicken Kabob (all)(3): man chokes on a chicken kabob Fake Ed McMahon (BDM)(3): man pretends to be Ed McMahon Police Department Buddy's Bar (S)(3): Buddy talks about AIDS (Buddy) Wimpy Tea Guy (KM)(3): Mr. Tisane orders some tea (Mr. Tisane) Police Department Tammy -- The Pickle (all+P)(3): Tammy meets the Queen at a pickle factory (Tammy, The Queen, Paul Bellini) (Comedy Central) (###) Live with Mom or Dad? (MDBS)(3): kid has to decide who to live with Pit of Ultimate Darkness on a Date (KDB)(3): Pit of Ultimate Darkness has a date in a restaurant (Pit of Ultimate Darkness) Bruce Lookalike 1 (B)(3): the guy who thinks he looks like Bruce Crazy Guy in Waiting Room (SM)(3): crazy guy mocks people in a waiting room Why Did They Have to Take the Word "Gay"? (M)(3): lady wonders why gays had to use the word "gay" Bruce Lookalike 2/Dad Died -- Call Mom (KBMD)(3): brothers are told their dad died and they quibble over change (Doctor) I've Been Kidnapped (all)(3): Danny Husk reads the paper to discover that he has been kidnapped (Danny Husk, White-Haired Criminal) (HBO) (###) Flying Pig Remeniscing (all)(3): man remenisces about the Flying Pig (Flying Pig) Her "God" Spot (DKM)(3): dog show organizer wonder about a misprint The Darcy Pennell Show* with Francesca Fiore (DKS)(3): Francesca Fiore goes on Darcy's show and brings a clip of her next movie (Darcy Pennell, Francesca Fiore, Bruno Puntz Jones) Son of Flying Pig 1 (MSKB)(3): the son of the Flying Pig shows up Thank-you letters of Tyrone Bibbens Esquire (SK)(3): Tyrone Bibbens writes thank you letters, because he'll be dead soon Tanya at a Party 1 (all)(3): Tanya annoys people at a party (Tanya) Son of Flying Pig 2 (KBD)(3): son of the Flying Pig continued Tanya at a Party 2 (MD)(3): Tanya the day after the party (Tanya) (over credits) (Comedy Central) (###) Old Yeller 1 (all)(3): KITH presents the dramatic conclusion of "Old Yeller" A.T. & Love's Danny Husk -- Porn Star (SD)(3): Danny Husk's Boss confronts Danny about being a porn star (Danny Husk, A.T. & Love Boss) "What If" Guy (BM)(3): man confronts noisy people in restaurant, but runs through alternate versions of reality in his mind Buddy's Bar -- Drugs (S)(3): Buddy talks about drugs (Buddy) Old Yeller 2 (all)(3): another dramatic conclusion of "Old Yeller" Rod Torfulson's Armada (MBSK)(3): Rod tries to convince the band to change its name (Armada) Horsey/Old Yeller 3 (DSMK)(3): mother reveals the truth to her daughter about her horsey/dramatic conclusion of "Old Yeller" (HBO) (CC) (###) What?!?!? (SB)(3): man wonders about the look his wife gives him Pit of Ultimate Darkness -- Hecubus Fired 1 (KDSB)(3): Hecubus is fired for drinking too much (Pit of Ultimate Darkness) Father & Son Thieves (BS)(3): father and son rob a man's house Darryl on a Date -- Darryl's Momma (MDS)(3): Darryl has a date over and tells his date about his mother (Darryl) Hecubus Fired 2 (DK)(3): Hecubus fired continued Absent-Minded Customer/Scott Thompson's 100th Waiter Sketch (all)(3): an absent minded guy doesn't understand the story/celebration for Scott's 100th Waiter (HBO) (CC) (###) On the Subject of Me* (D)(3): on the subject of Dave Bearded Lady Marries (DKM)(3): the bearded lady prepares to get married (Chicken Lady, Bearded Lady) Arrogant Executive (DK)(3): the arrogant executive listens to an ad pitch Kids in the Hall Kids/Bruce's Regrets (BM)(3): Bruce's regrets at the end of the KITH season (Satan, Mr. Tyzik, Cabbage Head) Horny Patient (SK)(3): horny man gets examined by a nurse On the Subject of Me* (D)(3): on the subject of Dave Spy Models* (SDMK)(3): a film with Francesca & Bruno (Francesca Fiore, Bruno Puntz Jones) (Comedy Central) (###) But First... (DMKB)(3): Businessmen -- "I'd like to begin the presentation, but first..." (Robert?) Tanya the Temp Leaves (all)(3): Tanya the temp leaves the office (Cathy, Kathie, Tanya, Ms. Ferguson) Open Letter to Wheel Stealer (B)(3): Bruce's open letter to the guy that stole his bike wheel The Mouse (M)(3): story of a guy's conflict with a mouse (Tucker) Open Letter to Wheel Stealer Watchers (B)(3): Bruce's open letter to the people who watched the guy steal his bike wheel The Murder Trial (all)(3): guy lies on the stand to get away with murder Scott Buying Beer (SB)(3): Scott wonders whether he should buy beer for some underage youth (CBS) (---) Best-Looking Man in the World -- Bim Bam Baby (-)(2): complete version Bad Doctor (D)(2): the story of the really bad doctor (Really Bad Doctor) My Pen! (all)(3): office worker has his pen taken Chicken Lady at Strip Show (all)(3): the freaks attends a strip show and see Rooster Boy (Chicken Lady, Bearded Lady) Stunned Father (K)(3): father stunned because wife left him -- "a whole lotta milk-a". Buddy's Bar -- Sappho Sluggers (all)(2): Buddy manages an all-girl baseball team (Buddy) (Comedy Central) (###) Einstein (DK)(3): Einstein insulted by sarcastic painter Gut Guys (MBK)(3): they guys with big guts at a bar Wedding Reception 1 (BD)(3): the wedding reception, toasts, etc. Terrier Song (BK)(3): the Terrier Song Wedding Reception 2 (MB)(3): wedding reception continued The "Ascertain" Guy (BD)(3): the guy who can't stop using the word "ascertain" Wedding Reception 3 (SBK)(3): wedding reception continued Darryl the Waiter (MDSK)(3): Darryl at his job as waiter (Darryl) (Comedy Central) (###) Old Lady Falls Down (SKMB)(3): old lady falls down, man takes her oranges (Police Department) Psychic Artist (DK)(3): Dave's draws a person he has never seen, based only on the sound of his voice Gavin's Love (all)(3): Gavin falls in love with his babysitter (Gavin, Gavin's mother) Mr. Heavyfoot Puts on his Pants* (DK)(3): (Mr. Heavyfoot) Buddy's Bar -- Paris (S)(3): Buddy discusses his time in Paris (Buddy) Street Singers 1 (BM)(3): the street singers sing on the street Mr. Heavyfoot Hates the Movie* (D)(3): (Mr. Heavyfoot) Street Singers 2 (all)(3): the street singers in their home (Comedy Central) (###) It's a Fact Wanna See a Dead Body? (SDBK)(3): man brings his girlfriend to see a dead body in a field (White-Haired Criminal) Scott's Double 1 (all)(3): Scott's double starts misbehaving Businessmen (BM)(3): Gerald and Gerald talk on the phone (Gerald, Gerald) Minimum Wage (B)(3): guy complains about minimum wage Scott's Double 2 (all)(3): Scott's double continued Stereo Bargaining (BD)(3): man bargains in a stereo store (Murray) It's a Fact Naval Captain (KSD)(3): the stupid ship captain It's a Fact (M)(3): the "It's a Fact" girl bargains for more money (Murray) (Comedy Central) (###) Police Department 1 (BMS)(3): police find a dead body (Police Department) Accent Teacher (KM)(3): teacher teaches accents Making Potato Salad (B)(3): red beehive lady makes potato salad Don't Blame the Clown (SD)(3): clown causes trouble in business meeting (Danny Husk, A.T. & Love Boss, Bingo the Clown) Drag Revolution (S)(3): drag queens take over Police Department 2 (BMSD)(3): dead body continued (Police Department) The Phantom of the Warehouse (all)(3): bad boss becomes the legend Police Department 3 (BM)(3): dead body continued (Police Department) (Comedy Central) (###) Fag! (S)(3): guy coming out of house repeatedly called fag Sleepwalking 1 (SDB)(3): Brian pretends to be sleepwalking (Fran, Gordon, Brian) Dog Trainer (KD)(3): guy tries to train his useless dog Relationship Section (BDK)(3): couples sits in relationship section of restaurant Painting with Darryl (?)(3): Darryl on his show "Painting with the Inner Child with Darryl" (Darryl) Sleepwalking 2 (SB)(3): ...later that same night (Fran, Gordon) Girl Drink Drunk* (DK)(3): businessman addicted to girl drinks (Comedy Central) (###) Asleep on the Job (DS)(2): street worker asleep on the job Bruce the Small Guy (BD)(3): Bruce wonders how tall he is Stunned Father (K)(3): father stunned because wife left him -- "a whole lotta milk-a". The "I Want a Raise" Guy 1 (KD)(3): comedy writer wants a raise Gimmel-100 Salesmen (BMS)(3): money momentum guys sell Gimmel-100 organs (Money Momentum Guys) The "I Want a Raise" Guy 2 (KD)(3): comedy writer wants a raise continued Buddy's Bar -- Tammy the Pop Star (all)(3): Buddy discovers Tammy (Buddy, Tammy) [disembodied sketch - sounds like an opener] Stewardesses in Diner (SKBD): they burst in asking if anyone can fly a plane Bigot Cabbie (KM)(3): the Bigot cabbie blames "certain people" when the Blue Jays lose (Bigot Cabbie) Chicken Lady at Strip Show (all)(3): the freaks attends a strip show and see Rooster Boy (Chicken Lady, Bearded Lady) Psycho Cabbie (KSM)(3): same customer, but this cabbie shoots other cars and takes unwanted short cuts Police Department (SMB)(3): they withstand some blatant abuse Farmers in a Diner (DK)(3): two farmers discuss celebrities My Pen! (all)(3): office worker has his pen taken Police Department (SM)(3): they discuss a movie over a dead body (Comedy Central butchered episode) (###) Girls! Girls! Girls! (KM)(3): guy follows signs to find girls (Mr. Tyzik) The Marriages (all)(3): a woman's repeated failed attempts at marriage Cab Ride I (KM): Blue Jays fan takes a cab ride (Bigot Cabbie) ** Development in the Sauna (DS): Steam room talk (Danny Husk) ** It's a Fact Cab Ride II (KSM): Another cab ride from hell (Bigot Cabbie, Smoking Cabbie) ** The Thrift Shop (SMK)(3): Raj and Christine discuss the strange day (Raj, Christine) My pen! (all): (Smoking Cabbie) It's a Fact (M) (3): Bargaining for more money Fourth Season (1993) Note that shows in this season are very often edited by Comedy Central, so they may not appear as listed here. (Comedy Central) (###) Whores (SDK)(4): "I meant to say yes!" (Whores) Gavin -- Door-to-Door Missionaries (BMDK)(4): Gavin is visited by door-to-door religious missionaries (Gavin, Gavin's Father) Car Stalled (SK)(4): car is stalled -- "Try it now." (Danny Husk) Dull since the Heart Attack (BM)(4): the men who have been dull since the heart attack Whores (SDM)(4): (Whores) Kevin's Family and Airport Movies Series (KS)(4): similarities, coincidence? My God They Can Read My Thoughts (KDS)(4): man is stunned to discover fellow businessmen can read his "thoughts" Awkward Thanksgiving (MKBD)(4): the awkward family Thankgiving dinner with the brother at home (Comedy Central) (???) Cameraman Ted Riley Memorial (DSM)(4): a memorial (Channel 7 News Team, Nena?) The Dog for Whom I Feel Nothing (B)(4): a man and his dog Whores (SDBM)(4): (Whores, Police Department) Pitiful Mechanic (KM)(4): the really pitiful dumb mechanic (Tucker) Spider on the Face (KD)(4): man wakes up with a giant spider on his face Whores (SD)(4): (Whores) Whores (SD)(4): (Whores) Hyper Business Executive (BK)(4): the hyper businessman has heart problems Cabbie Delivers Rush-Hour Baby (all)(4): cabbie delivers rush-hour baby (Comedy Central) (???) Sarcastic Conversation Baiter (KD)(4): Man baits another man with sarcasm at a party Chicken Lady Visits Her Old House (all)(4): Chicken Lady visits the house she grew up in (Chicken Lady, Bearded Lady, Tucker) He's 45 (B)(4): cool guy fires assistant (He's 45) Bad Doctor (DS)(4): doctor confuses Banning/Manning/Fanning (Doctor) Seven Things to Do Today (KD)(4): the strage guy with a list of things to do He's 45 (BM)(4): cool guy looks for a new employee (He's 45) He's 45 (B)(4): cool guy looks for a new employee (He's 45) Fran & Judy the New Widow (SD)(4): Fran comforts Judy the new widow (Fran, Gordon, Judy) (Comedy Central) (###) Chalet 2000* (all)(4): episode-long sketch has the Queen avoiding scandal by seeking out Buddy (Buddy, The Queen, Francois, Jacques) (Comedy Central) (###) What a Best Friend Is (B)(4): man describes what a best friend is Anal-Probing Aliens (DKM)(4): anal-probing aliens question their work (Tucker) I'm a Good Worker Now (DBM)(4): man tries to get his old job back Whores (SD) (4): Discussing plastic surgery (Whores) Rod Torfulson's Armada (BMK) (4): Discuss throwing out the guitarist (Armada) Do Re Mi Song (all)(4): the Kids sing "Do, a Deer" Dear Guy I Clotheslined (D)(4): an apology to the guy Dave clotheslined Whores (SDB)(4): (Whores) Parents who Find their Son's Pot (MSDK)(4): parents find their son's pot (Nena, Nena's Husband) (Comedy Central) (###) Lucky Lobster (DKM)(4): the promotion is in the bag There's a Fine Line Between 1 (B)(4): fine line between nice guy and... Sudelmans (MBS)(4): the Sudelmans negotiate (Sudelmans) Ted's Church of the Very Bright Lights (KDM)(4): Ted's follower has doubts There's a Fine Line Between 2 (S)(4): fine line between confidence and... In the Old Days/Buddy's Bar (MS)(4): in the old days, the men knew who the men were... (Buddy) Lackluster Incompetent Cop (MK)(4): the lackluster cop investigats a burglary Warrior-Within Weekend (all)(4): Danny Husk goes on a men-only retreat (Danny Husk, A.T. & Love Boss) (Comedy Central) (###) Inexperienced Cannibal on Trial (DKS)(4): the inexperienced cannibal's trial Santa Claus Visits Childless Couple (all)(4): Santa Claus visits "Spot Bellini" Contest Winner (BP)(4): Breakfast with Bellini (Paul Bellini) Wrong Number -- What Have you Done with Frank? (KD)(4): man who got wrong number demands to know what happened to Frank Tammy Video -- Ain't Gonna Spread for No Roses (BM)(4): Tammy shows off her new video (Tammy) My Art! (KB)(4): man borrows another man's art to show his girlfriend (Comedy Central) (###) Whores (SD)(4): (Whores) Darryl on a Date (MB)(4): Darryl gushes about Mozart (Darryl) Whores (SD)(4): (Whores) Fireman Wannabe (DKM)(4): the man who decided to be a fireman Buddy at the Cemetary (S)(4): Buddy remembers a friend (Buddy) Steven the Stupid Drunk (BK)(4): man talks on phone with Steven the stupid drunk Whores and Rudy (SDK)(4): Rudy drives a cab (Whores, Rudy) Kevin Uses His Celebrity -- Should I? (K)(4): Kevin debates whether or not to use his fame (Comedy Central) (###) Bike Courier Working on Two Hours Sleep (B)(4): tribute narrated by Bruce White Filipino Boy (SD)(4): man talks to a white Philipino shoe-shiner boy I'm Charging You (BM)(4): Sid & Sharisse fight outside an opera house (Sid, Sharisse) The Architect & the Atrium (KDM)(4): architect demands an atrium Drunk Chick from Winnepeg (B)(4): tribute narrated by Bruce Politically Correct Art Class (DSB)(4): art class rebels against politically incorrect art professor He's Just a Hopeless Romantic (B)(4): tribute narrated by Bruce Bob the Angelic Sexual Surrogate (KSD)(4): Bob acts as sexual surrogate for a couple (Comedy Central) (???) Michael the Incompetent Receptionist (BD)(4): Michael can't remember things Pit of Ultimate Darkness -- Employee-Employer Exchange (KD)(4): Simon Milligan and Hecubus switch jobs (Pit of Ultimate Darkness) Police Department (MB)(4): (Police Department) Psychic Delivery Service (KMSD)(4): old women taken advantage of by psychics Police Department (MB)(4): (Police Department) Making Answering Machine Messages (KBD)(4): couple tries to make their answering machine message Police Department (MB)(4): (Police Department) Mr. Tisane and the Trial (all)(4): Francesca Fiore is put on trial (Mr. Tisane, Francesca Fiore, Bruno Puntz Jones) (Comedy Central) (???) Police Department Sid & Sharisse and the Pizza Guy (BMK)(4): Sid threatens the pizza shop employee (Sid, Sharisse) Police Department Ed the Fraud Businessman (DMK)(4): the businessman who thinks he will be revealed a fraud The Whores and Rudy (SDK)(4): (Whores, Rudy) Mark's "Fan" Mail -- the Secret of Nudity (M)(4): Mark reads his fan mail and reveals the secret Police Department Tarzan the Businessman (DKB)(4): Tarzan in the business world (Chris Belamy) Detective Peter Prince -- the Kitty Case (KSMD)(4): Kitty is missing (Comedy Central) (###) Bigot Cabbie (SM)(4): the Bigot cabbie hassles a "chinaman" (Bigot Cabbie) Gezbo the Video-Selling Clown (BM)(4): the Money Momentum Guys sell videos in a hospital (Money Momentum Guys) Police Department The Whores & Rudy & the High School Diploma (KSDM)(4): The Whores help Rudy study for his high school diploma (Whores, Rudy) Stupid Affair Attempt (KDS)(4): woman makes an idiotic attempt at an affair Pickle Nightmare (DK)(4): one man's pickle nightmare Christine and Raj Switch Tables/Bigot Cabbie (SM)(4): Christine and Raj try sitting at a different table (Raj, Christine, Bigot Cabbie) (Comedy Central) (---) Fiore Parfums Commercial (S)(4): commercial for Fiore Parfums (Francesca Fiore) Seven Things to Do Today (KD)(4): weird guy tries to accomplish his list of seven things to do Cheap, Crappy Art (BM)(4): the cheap cheezy art collection (Shirling Guy) The Dog for Whom I Feel Nothing (?)(4): man has a loveless relatioship with his dog Cyril St. John the Escapist (DKSM)(4): the story of Cyril St. John Steps (DSK)(4): discussing gay marriage (Steps) (Comedy Central) (###) Fiore Parfums Commercial (S)(4): commercial of Fiore Parfums (Francesca Fiore) Whores (SK)(4): (Maudre, Rudy) The Fantasy Sexual Indescretion (BKM)(4): woman who has sexual fantasies reveals it to her boyfriend I'm Turning Assistant into a Rat (DMK)(4): the man who is turning his assistant into a rat Whores (DSK)(4): (Whores, Rudy) Phil from the Warehouse with the Pain's in his Head (MSB)(4): Phil pesters a man in a shoe store Whores (SK)(4): (Maudre, Rudy) The "Will Do" Guy in Prison (KDM)(4): Dean in prison (Dean, Lex) (Comedy Central) (???) Street Fight -- Parents Watching (BDM)(4): Sid in a street fight (Sid) Cathy & Kathie & the New Girl (SB)(4): Cathy and Kathie gossip about the new girl (Cathy, Kathie) Street Fight -- Confusion (BDK)(4): Sid in a street fight (Sid) Darryl on a Date -- the Oompah Band (MKD)(4): Darryl explains that he sees an Oompah Band in his head (Darryl) Street Fight -- Unfair Fight (BD)(4): Sid in a street fight (Sid) Buddy -- Virtual Reality (S)(4): Buddy explores VR (Buddy) (Comedy Central) (###) The Flirt (BD)(4): the guy who flirts with another man's wife in front of him Awkward Talk with Father in the Hospital (all)(4): man doesn't want to hear his son say "I love you" (Doctor) Police Department The Junkie on a Date (KM)(4): the heroin junkie explains his situation The Scared Airline Pilot (SDB)(4): airline pilot hides from his crew Police Department Melanie goes Rollerblading (DMK)(4): Melanie meets someone while rollerblading (Melanie) Sausages (BSMK)(4): bizarre, surreal sketch about a man in a sausage factory [incomplete] Cathy and Kathie (SKBD)(4): They withstand some company restructuring and share jobs (Cathy and Kathie) The Voices (B)(4): Bruce describes the torment Steps (DSK)(4): guy-watching and saying "hot" (Steps) Chad's 13th Birthday (BK)(4): His dad initiates him into manhood in the family tradition Cheap, Crappy Art (BM)(4): the cheap cheezy art collection (Shirling Guy) Steps (DSK)(4): discussing gay marriage (Steps) Governor's Wrong Number (DS)(4): the governor calls a wrong number at a crucial moment Spot Bellini Contest (all+P)(4): Bruce explains the rules The Fight Pickers (BD)(4): they take on a biker and his goldfish Pit of Ultimate Darkness (KD)(4): Hecubus and his multiple personalities (Pit of Ultimate Darkness) The Fight Pickers (BD)(4): they take on two guys in suits The Sandwich People (B)(4): Bruce talks about various sad peoples Meeting of the Ontario Dental Association (SK)(4): A man's contact lenses keep bothering him (Danny Husk) Bauer at Kyle's (SKD+P)(4): Kyle is surprised to find Bauer making himself at home, and Bellini appears (Bauer) 7 at 11 News - Weatherman is Not God (DSM)(4): the weatherman is not God (Channel 7 News, Nena) Emergency Room Joker (DMBS)(4): A seriously injured patient takes time out for a few gags Donovan responds to Scott's ad (S)(4): A man responds to Scott's personal ad I Get The Neck (all)(4): Myra Ketchell's family has Thanksgiving dinner and her husband offers her the neck (Myra) Sex Girl Patrol (all)(4): an apparently Jamaican director introduces his "very sexist" new film So says you! (KD)(4): A man tells his wife he has amnesia and a fear of death Becoming a Booster (B)(4): Kathie describes how she became a Blue Jays fan (Kathie) The Losers (MB)(4): they do competition beer bottle tossing into their kitchen sink (The Losers) Fran, Gordon and Brian (SDB)(4): Fran learns about salsa, peanut sauce and meals in a pill (Fran, Gordon and Brian) The Losers (MB)(4): they do competition rubber ball bouncing into their bathtub (The Losers) Forced Date (all)(4): two people are forcibly introduced to each other What Am I Doing (KDB)(4): married man dreams of affair with his maid The Losers (BM)(4): fire in the apartment (The Losers) Fifth Season (1994) +-------------------==> SEASON 5 SPOILER WARNING <==-----------------+ | Although an effort has been made to avoid *major* spoilers for the | | sketches, some of the sketch descriptions or the recurring | | character lists may contain spoilers!!!! | +------------------------------------------------------------------------+ [This season's episodes will be more complete when I get more episodes on tape -- if you want to submit episode listings please do so!] (Comedy Central) (###) God is Dead (all)(5): newsreel footage of the death of God New Boots* (BSKD)(5): workers with steel-toed boots go to the job Accelerated-Time Breakup (KD)(5): time accelerates whenever man leaves wife Whores (SDK)(5): (Whores, Rudy) Buddy's Bar -- Montreal (S)(5): Buddy talks about Montreal (Buddy) Whores (SD)(5): (Whores) Dipping Areas (all)(5): a restaurant kitchen discussion about the mousse dipping areas (Comedy Central) (###) Steps* (all)(5): gay pride day (Steps, Police Department, ?Shona?) Stump Hand Waiter (SDKB)(5): the waiter with stumps for hands (Danny Husk?) Butt Freak Film Buff (DM)(5): the guy who likes a certain type of movie scene Gavin at the Police Department (BKS)(5): Gavin registers a complaint at the police department (Gavin) Steps* (DSK)(5): gay pride day continued (Steps, ?Shona?) Guy who Consoles People in Hospital (DMBK)(5): the guy who consoles crying people in the hospital Steps* (DSK)(5): gay pride day continued (Steps, ?Shona?) Evan the Stereo Salesman (BKM)(5): Evan the intense stereo salesman (Evan, Satan, Murray) (CBS) (###) Slow Motion Trick (MDK): guy acts slow to make friend leave Ex-Girlfriend Relocation (MKD): guy wants to have ex-girlfriend relocated Whores (DS) Love (B): Bruce monologue about love Breat-Obsessed Businessman (KDS): man obsessed with secretary's breasts Whores (DS) Naive Duck Hunting (SM): hunting-naive companions go duck hunting Whores (DS) They Love Me in France (all): why Kevin is popular only in France (CBS) (###) 555-SLUT (none): gross guy's phone sex ad Chicken Lady at the Mall (DMSB): Chicken Lady masturbates at the mall (Chicken Lady) Old People (B): Bruce monologue about old people Office Joker Revenge (MKB): man wants to get revenge against office joker 555-SLUT (none): gross guy's phone sex ad Exercise Class Instructors (MBS): exercise class teachers have a fight 555-SLUT (D): friend-of-gross-guy's phone talk ad Embarrasing Dinner (KSDM): man's companion snorts coke at dinner (CBS) (###) Idiot Boy at Work (DS): Idiot Boy is causing problems at work (Idiot Boy) Police Department (BMS): Did you kill that guy? (Police Department) You've Gained Weight (DK): woman with eating disorder discusses weight problems Police Department (BMS): Did you kill that guy? (Police Department) Feelyat! (KMSD): bizarre foreign-language game show (& news bulletin) (Darryl) Brian's Been Arrested (S): Fran tells how Brian was arrested (Fran) Police Department (BMS): Did you kill that guy? (Police Department) The Beard (all): Man's beard takes over his life (Nena) (CBS) Steps (asdf): Steps guys discuss coming out to their parents (Steps) Crab Shampoo (KM): American in Canada wants crab shampoo Obfuscator Boyfriend (DB): man obfuscates about moving in together Mr. Tisane's Tea Problem (KMD): Mr. Tisane addicted to tea (Mr. Tisane) Steps (KDSB): Steps guys see Intimate Circumstances (Steps) (CBS) (###) Janitor Retires (DM): janior retires from a school Marriage Denial (KB): man repeatedly denies being married Francesca in Yugoslavia (asdf): Francesca & Bruno make movie in Yugoslavia (Francesca Fiore, Bruno Puntz Jones) Police Department (BM) Police Department (BM) Let the Flirting Begin (all): guys flirt with new woman in office No-Chocolate Diet (D): man repeatedly swears off chocolate (CBS) (###) The Test-Tube Baby (SD): man complains about being a test-tube baby Kathy & Dry Cleaner (BMS): Kathy sleeps with dry cleaner (Kathy, Cathy, Tanya, Kevin's Secretary, Bigot Cabbie) Whores (DSK): (Whores, Rudy) Starving Street Singers (BKM): street singers look for food (Street Singers) Communist Threat (DK): man talks about the communist threat Whores (DSK): Maude pretends to be Rudy's wife (Maude, Rudy) Man's Girlfriend's Jobs (all): man who wants girlfriends with various jobs (CBS) (###) Police Department (BM) Bleeding Ear (KDB): man's ear starts bleeding at dinner Bikini Inspector (B): man complains about "Bikini Inspector" T-shirts Wedding at Buddy's (SKM): Buddy conducts a marriage ceremony (Buddy) Hi-Tech Car Alarm (M): Tucker followed by a car after setting off its alarm (Tucker) (CBS) (###) Clothes-Talker (K): man talks to his clothes Sioux & Sharisse Wedding (all): Sid & asdf get married (Sioux, Sharisse, Sioux's Friend) Whores (DSM): (Whores) Darn Near Puked (BSK): office workers discuss "gross" things Scott's Vision (S): Scott has a vision after reading a list of men who died of AIDS Again! Again! (SKBM): old man asks women to dance in their underwear (CBS) (###) Police Department (SMB): "conclusion" of "Did you kill that guy?" Disgusting Old Man (KMD): old man asks neighbor to turn over his wife The Chosen One Thinker (BMK): fast food crew chief/chosen one thinks Margaret & Sandra (B): the story of a man's and woman's chance meeting Police Department (SMBD): Did you kill that guy? Firing Documentary (KDM): man makes documentary of being fired from work Police Department (SMB): Did you kill that guy? Surviving a Bear Attack (KM): man encounters a "bear" while hunting for chicks Police Department (SMBD): real "conclusion" of "Did you kill that guy?" (CBS) (###) Whores (DSK): (Whores, Rudy) Meet Your New Male Slave (SKDM): Buddy gets a new male slave [Mark narrates] (Buddy) Someone Doesn't Like You (MDK): man discusses a guy who doesn't like a friend Whores (SD): (Whores) Poreef (BMS): Money-Momentum guys sell new product in a grocery store (Money-Momentum Guys) The Tattoo (BS): man reveals his deep hidden secret The Hit* (DSMB): man hires hit man to kill himself (Police Department) (CBS) (###) %%%% Virgil Black Fight-Picking Guy (SD): guy in bar who wants to get in a fight Weston & Virgil in 1972 (SMB): Weston & Virgil at school in 1972 (Weston, Virgil) Power-Mad after Promotion (KDM): mail clerk gets promoted and goes power-mad Fight-Picking Guy (SK): guy in bar who wants to get in a fight Laundromat Business Opportunities (MB): businessman tries to lease underwear Post-Apocalypse Poets (KMB): post-apocalypse poets smokes pot and writes songs Fight-Picking Guy (SM): guy in bar who wants to get in a fight Coal-Shoveler with Angst (BM): coal shoveler questions life (CBS) (###) Lick Town Clean (DK): residents must lick the town clean Agents in the Bar (SMK): the Sudelmans in the bar order drinks after last call (Sudelmans) The Lovers (DM): the lovers talk about their love Noisy Kid (MBKD): man in line complains about a yakky kid Dave/Elk (DS): comparison of Dave and an elk [Scott narrates] Humpback Gays (BS): gay pair discusses one guy's hump (Butchie?) The Lovers (DM): the lovers talk about their love The Soaker (BKM): man who participates in competitive bathtub-soaking Greater Possibilities (DK): Man with submarine for an office Steps Guys at Home (SDK): Butch calls 555-JERK (Steps) "Living Proof" Press Conference (MKB): Band dies in a bus crash Big Bucks* (B): Man with a bizarre job gets the big bucks (directed by Bruce) Band Killer (BKM): Capture of a serial killer (Police Department) Brown Stuff (DS): A.T. & Love boss has a problem (Danny Husk, A.T. & Love Boss) I'm Late (KB): The perfect couple practices being perfect Steps (DKS): Steps guys discuss AIDS (Steps) Bye Stan* (all): Guy wishes everyone a good weekend (Danny Husk, Cathy, Kathy, Ms. Ferguson?) Bellini Day (BMDP): Aliens celebrate Bellini Day (Paul Bellini, sorta) Some sketches that I don't think are listed above: >From stc108@psu.edu (Scott Cierski): Scott on stardom (S): A monologue from Scott on stardom Danny Husk sweats (DS, others?): Danny Husk sweats a nice smell (Danny Husk, his wife and boss, Gavin) Mushroom boy (M): A monologue from the mushroom boy A date in the 90's (BS): A man and woman discuss very ninties subjects Boiled potatoes (MDSK): A man has an idea for a new restaurant THE FINAL EPISODE SKETCH LIST End of the Beginning (P)(5): Bellini listens to the radio (Paul Bellini) Armada Grows Old (MBK)(5): Armada sees the future (Armada) The Sixth Kid (all)(5): Jeff Berman tribute Buddy's Bar - Closure (S)(5): Buddy closes the bar On Censorship (KDB)(5): "recap" of censored episodes A.T.&Love Buyout (all)(5): Everyone is fired (Cathy, Kathie, Tanya, Ms. Ferguson, Secretary, A.T.&Love Boss) Burial (all+P)(5): the boys are buried and Bellini speaks! (Paul Bellini) ------------------------------ -- Who contributed to this FAQ? Many people have graciously contributed to this FAQ. Please see the complete list in Part 1 of this FAQ. If you have any information, additions, corrections, comments, submissions, suggestions, requests, ideas, or complaints about this FAQ please send email to the FAQ maintainer davidson@mercury.interpath.net (Drew Davidson). ------------------------------ Copyright Information Copyright 1994-1995 Andrew B. Davidson and the individual contributors listed in Part 1 of this FAQ. Distribution PROHIBITED except under the terms listed in Part 1 of this FAQ. ------------------------------ End of alt.tv.kids-in-hall FAQ Part 2/3 ***************************************